Rob & Di

PART 15

(Di & Rob’s house warming party)
….The yard was full of people, music all round, chats & laughs. Rob & Friends braaing meat and some enjoying their drinks.
Tobby: Congrats my guy! You ve taken strides to develop yourself.
Rob: thanks laitaka! I never thought I would see myself here.
Tobby: I see the difference in you. I remember o le fraa ka pregnancy, I didn’t understand what you were on about
Rob: that was my hardest lesson, life is beyond what we see laitaka. Nkile ka bata go swa ke stress. Depression hit me like lightning The guilt was intense. I still carry traces of it. I am grateful that I could bounce back, some people are not so lucky
Tobby: Tell me about it, Ke a itse. Remember I lost Tebby monna, I never thought she would kill herself kana
Rob: I couldn’t believe it when you told me. Smoko e ne e le eng?
Tobby: Tebby was depressed too, things never got better after she delivered our baby. Multiple admissions at that psychiatric hospital . She would refuse medications at some point, blaming herself for this and that. A sa bate go bona ngwana. I wish I knew what I could do for her. Sometimes I feel I failed her and this child never got to feel his mother’s love.Raising a child alone is not a joke, there is not a day I look at that child and not remember his mother. I ve been going for counselling though , it’s getting better.
Rob: I am sorry bro, life can be so tough. We are never certain of what happens next. I am sure you did your best for her, the hardest thing is trying to control actions of another person, there is a limitation especially when they don’t understand. I pray you find peace and happiness again.
Tobby: yeah neh. Thanks my guy. Go ta siama.

Across the yard Di is hanging out with her girls.
Beauty: re bolelele sephiri mma, how did you get Rob to do all this for you
Di: I wish I knew what I did to deserve this tlhemma. I really just think love is strange, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, the heart want what it wants-it knows no boundaries, Rob has taught me so much about humbling self, accepting your journey of life, making things better and just appreciating the other person, letting bygones be bygones. He inspires me.
Beauty: The God you pray to mma is amazing.
Di: God is amazing and the support I have, and you know what? All in good time you will experience this too. Be open minded,Life is so broad, happiness is found within, fulfillment is found in simple things. Start by acknowledging your journey and knowing there is no problem in seeking help when you feel overwhelmed , that is being in control.
Beauty: aish, true. Nna mme ke bata monna, I cant anymore. How about that friend of Rob, wa mmona yole?
Di: which one?
Beauty: The one standing next to him.
Di: oh, Tobby.
Beauty: That’s his name? He looks like a good man.
Di: That’s the guy I told you gore will be the best man, you are going to pair with him.He is a good guy, he lost his fiancée last year. Ba na le ngwana yo monnye.
Beauty: Kante o raya Tobby a lebagantswe le nna. Stars aligned. Tlhemma I can bandage that heart wena, Ke e fodisa and mother that child with all I have.
Di; Hehehehe! O raya wena? Ska bata go tsenya Tobby stress wena o balabala so!
Beauty: Ke ta utwa ka Tobby tlhemma, Let me go and mingle ebile.
She left them going where the guys were.

(That evening)

The girls had left for the resort where the bridal shower was. The were all dressed in white and floral dresses. Di was the only one in an off shoulder lacy emerald green dress and a ‘bride to be’ white satin shoulder strap. They sat at a long table with decorations to die for.
They were getting served by gentlemen dressed in with black & white tuxedos. The girls devoured on their good looks. Chit chats and laughs.

Mc: so ladies can we now equip this lady with ideas to sustain her commitment, kana Jaanong ga gona bo “get out of my sight” with every misunderstanding. What do you say to her?
Lady 1 : commitment is not about happily ever after , it is about trust & hope for stability and growth through love. Love in every phase of your lives, remember circumstances change, emotions fluctuates, desires too…so don’t go in expecting Rob to give you that fairytale life, build towards it together.
Lady 2: the special gift you can ever give your spouse is trust, it is validation of your love for him and a form of respect too. Trust that you chose the best for your heart. He will have the confidence and courage to fight along you and for you.
Lady 3: Don’t make your advises sound like criticism to him, banna ba sensitive koo- watch your approach, let it build interest for him to know more.
Lady 1: in all of this guard your heart too, commitment is not slavery to pain either- find your smile and happy, happiness nurtures love. Living with a frown is not resilience,neither is hiding behind a smile,it is psychologically damaging. Reach out for help when overwhelmed, don’t die silently you are not alone.
Di: Thank you my ladies. eish, lona le bua dio tse di very intense hela waitse. Where is the fun.hahaha!
Beauty: The fun you create for yourselves. Your shine is in that he chose you above anyone else. You are his queen,own your crown. Don’t downgrade mzala, ska diga business yame tlhemma, top customer. Keep slaying! I ll provide them clothes. Remind Rob I still sell lingerie please( she winked)
Lady 1: Yes. tiisa lelwapa mma, make intimacy fun too rather than an obligation.
Lady 2: All in all Surround him with love
Respect him, support him, cheer him on, praise him..that’s a package to keep him going.
Churchmate: Pray for your marriage . Invite God to your marriage and home.

“Well, right now I am 100% sure of one choice, Marrying Rob,” she said smiling. I hope he continues to embrace the crazy me too.
“Cheers to Rob and Di!” Beauty shouted
“Cheers!” Everyone responded lifting glasses of champagne towards each other.
They continued with the bridal shower games and handed over the gifts.

( Rob and Friends chilling at his home)
Guy 1: a woman needs to be loved , she needs security, she needs recognition and appreciation, involve her in the decision making processes. O ska mo ira ngwana yo monnye, as much as you are head of the house you are not the boss of her— let her co-drive your relationship. I ve been married for 5 years now. It’s not a walk in the park but it’s a path to serenity. Growing and learning together deepens intimacy in a relationship.
Guy 2: watch your manner of communication monna. Communicate your displeasures without criticism and threats, aim to understand before making conclusions. Don’t compare her negatively to other ladies, gape recognise her uniqueness and embrace it— thats a winning way to her heart.
Tobby: tswelela o mo spoile laitaka, they love this kind of attention. Happiness nurtures love, the love of a woman is profound and beautiful, enjoy it. I don’t know you to be violent so please maintain that demeanor.
Guy 3: Nna monna I am not for marriage, I don’t think much about it, I ll just say to you know your game in the bedroom bafana. Be romantic, women love that( shrugged his shoulders,They all laughed)
Tobby: This is kinda of weird but ladies have this super refined intuition when their man cheat, she might not point it out to you then but the day you are caught she will let you know the day you started cheating. So don’t be comfortable laitaka. Don’t make lying a habit, she may seem to give in to your crooked alibis but in the background she will detach psychologically from you, by the time you reform she is ready to leave you and not look back.
Rob: Thank you guys, I appreciate your words. I am not perfect but I am ready to learn and take up this journey. I know that problems are an integral part of a relationship. Someone once told me that true love is embracing instability in a relationship together.
Tobby: Cheers my guy, all the best ( he lifted his glass)
All: cheers.( lifting their glasses towards each other)

A Month later

*fiction
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#celebratinglove