I ve been thinking a lot about you, ‘the closeted and unaccepted’ My heart breaks for you.
Having to live 2 lives in the world that we split for you.
One kind of life lived in the world formed by our hostility,forcing you to conform out of fear.
and the other life lived in the world that nature presented to you, the world that welcomes your true self.
You’d rather live to embrace circumstances that psychologically destroys you and accept what you biologically repel just to fit it.
Being forced to create a camouflage because you live with vile monsters who would eat you alive for mentioning your sexuality.
You live among people who would rather have you make women beard to hide your sexuality.
You walk down the aisle to commit to the opposite of what you want.
You establish a family so that you evade the criticism, the alienation and demeaning names while deep down you know you are crucifying the real you.
Everyday you have to remind yourself to pretend… pretend having a connection with a person you lack chemistry with- having to find peace in imagining they were Him instead of Her
You harbour trauma day after day of having to mutilate and manipulate your mind to fit in the world of hostility we created for you, trying so hard to merge in the so called ‘straight’ because ‘gay or lesbian’ is considered profanity.
You’d rather hide behind a thorny coat of homophobia yourself and utter derogatory terms to your fellow strugglers because really “no one should know you are gay” otherwise you ll be torn apart and disowned by the parents who bore you, by the church which nurtured you, by the society that groomed you, by the nation that you think you belong to….caught between a rock and a hard place you turned into a monster.
Your sexuality is made to define you in every discussion held, “ that ‘gay guy’ is this and that, they forget your name. it’s sad that the norm has become ‘raising eyebrows’ to your difference.
You are subjected to ridicule by people who are ignorant about your life, people who are very narcissistic and too antisocial to want to know what you go through. The murderers of your peace claim perfectionism. I can’t imagine how deeply abrading this is.
Whatever makes you look forward to tomorrow is surely deeper and profound—for you look forward to your soul being possibly drained, your strength being emptied, to be skinned alive and made less of a human being if ever someone finds out you are homosexual.
Surely if you had a choice you’d switch your sexuality to what is considered norm and stress free, I mean who would choose to live in such misery? even monsters long for inner peace.
I am sorry for our lack of empathy, I am sorry for the ruthlessness that has rather made you live closeted.
I am sorry for your pain, the restraints we have around you, that chained you down and made you slave to our own definition of ideal.
I am looking forward with you, to the day you lift that heavy load from your shoulders and embrace the true you
I am looking forward with you to a day you get freedom to live the true you,
I am looking forward with you, to the day you don’t have to fear for your life in the world that God created for all of us
I am looking forward with you, to the day you publicly celebrate love without accommodating invalidation from any other person.
Much love ❤️
Kelly
Life Ls 