I am thinking of these mothers, my fellow motherhood passengers ❤️….
The mothers whose kids are labelled ‘mixed veges’ because they are not from the same father.
People spew bitter views about you and if you are not careful you sink psychologically
Afterall who cares about your side of the story when they can make their own conclusions, right?
Some people behind closed doors and hushed voices call us loose and dumb because wow, how can you get pregnant twice without being married?
Some people think we are cursed, bewitched or demon possesed, they feel pity for us because shems we seem unfit to the world, we couldn’t keep a man.
Some think we are the witches, those men who ran or died was all our doing
We are the ones expected to give long explanations of why we are not married or why we married a man who didn’t father the other child/ren
We are the ones whom our partners are nagged about taking care of children that are not their own. The men who love us are labelled ‘fools’- how can they love a ‘used woman’, when they can get a ‘brand new one’.
Of course we are baby mamas with or without ‘drama’…
We are the ones told to leave our kids with the grannies when we go to our marital homes, we are expected to build a home in alienation of our own child/ren.
Even when we settle we live with that extra vigilant intuition daily, looking out for that child who is not ‘blood’…
We are scared to love again because the confidence has been crumbled by previous broken relationships and we get paranoid about the step parent.
We are hesitant to leave relationships that have expired and detrimental to our peace in fear of how the world will judge us, “o tsamaya a tshola tshola le mongwe le mongwe”….
Ke le gopotse today my fellow mothers. I know how much you put in to find yourself standing. To balance yourself everyday dealing with coparenting or parenting alone. Holding yourself together and enshrining your kids when everything around you falls apart and opinions pull you apart…
Please remember you are your own self, above all else.
Don’t live to prove yourself to the ‘self righteous people’, they never get satisfied
Don’t drain yourself trying to please the world, not everyone loves you- that’s life
Know that the world standards are not all sculpted in your favor, be selective and take in that which does not destroy you. Do not cry forever, dry your tears, you have sisters all round.
Do not hold on to toxic relationships with the fear that the world will crucify you, leave gal, none of those judges breathes for you,
Aim to leave while you are still wholesome tagging along your colourful babies because they thrive on your love.
You are wiser, life has taught you lessons that most don’t know. You know what self sacrifice is, you know what loving and living without means. Your risk calculation is refined, your decisions are inclusive, your view of life is beyond your feet. Learn to trust your own judgment again after that disappointment or abandonment.
You still deserve to enjoy your corner of the world. Fall in love with being the best you can be. Embrace your bambinos and know they add beauty to your life what no one else ever will.
Love always ❤️
Kelly
Life Ls 