Intro:
Have you ever been held hostage by people you thought cared? Your family, your partner/spouse, your friends, your colleagues or bosses.Those people you get concerned about but don’t allow progress of any kind in your life.
For instance;
Families may build a wall around you so that you fail to notice what the world outside holds for you, they crush your self esteem to pieces so that you feel you can never achieve anything meaningful, they destroy your hope of a better tomorrow with their insinuations.
Your beloved spouse/partner hold you hostage— you are lured into a relationship with hope of a happily ever after, unknowingly unlocking the door to Stockholm syndrome, Giving away your freedom and Aspirations of your personal life. S/he controls you life compass in its entirety.. You navigate life as how s/he dictates or pursue.
Your bosses may hold you hostage— they benefit from your efforts and labour while withholding those recommendations and opportunities to climb up the carrier ladder. Year after year you are told to try harder, you reach a plateau where you are just stagnant but because life says you can’t sustain yourself without a source of finance you stay for the sake of survival, no growth.
But from afar your audience say all the unpalatable spews
…. “She made him treat her like that, how can she stay so long in this shady relationship”
…..” it serves him right, why did he marry her knowing she is like that”
….”ke setete, s/he feels entitled to special care”
….”o palelwa ke tiro, motho o ka bereka a sa promotiwe?”
While deep in your inner self, fear, uncertainty, bitterness and pain have built a mansion and threatening to take permanent residence.
People don’t know how many times you spend sleepless nights wondering what to do with your life. Tears soaking your pillow because you feel stuck with no way to go. Thoughts invade your being to a point where you think life is not worth living.
Nobody asks you how they can help you break free and move forth..They think you are weak, you tolerate nonsense and deliberately welcome abusive behavior.
They say “You teach people how to treat you” forgetting that from the fragile time of your existence when your psychological and social being was being put together you really were at the mercy of your carers, you were like a sponge absorbing all that’s around you and thinking that’s how life is supposed to be. You may have never gotten a chance to be taught you matter, your abilities may have never been reinforced, you may have been conditioned to tolerate unfair and unjust treatment until in the later years when you developed a sense of reasoning and understanding pain is not normal.
People forget that changing another’s behavior is beyond your control you may only change yours and that means confronting who you are or who used to be & killing those characteristics that enabled abuse and unfair treatment. It means getting out of your comfort zone and risking exposure to degradation by the ones who may never understand your situation.
The truth is, breaking free from this hostage situation means psychological and social retraining with hope that the scars you have did not cause irreversible damage.
Hostage Situation is a mini series I thought to talk about…. I ll break it down for us to understand how we become hostages… look forward to the series.
Much love ❤️
Kelly…
Life Ls 