Blog

Rob: Are you pregnant?

Di: Yes, I am pregnant.

Rob: Are you sure?

Di: Yes

Rob: Really?

Di: 100%

Rob: oh my god! (Heavy sigh and he rubs his head, pacing around)Di doesn’t know what to make of it. She remains quiet.

Rob: What are we going to do?

Di: What do you mean?

Rob: About the pregnancy

Di: I don’t understand, what’s wrong?

Rob: I don’t know babe, I mean, it’s not a baby yet, we can get rid of it

Di: Excuse me? (Perplexed)

Rob: Babe, we can’t afford a baby right now. It’s hectic

Di: (Getting angry)No, you can’t afford a baby, don’t include me in your dilemma.

Rob: Waitse Cheri e, Kante were you not preventing? What happened?

Di: mxcm, don’t patronize me Rob ( disgruntled)

Rob: anyway, I will chat to my friend and see how he can help. Ke mathata.

Di: I am not doing it

Rob: What?! Di: I am not getting rid of the baby

Rob: Di, No please don’t do this to me. I love you but I can’t , you need to understand. And stop calling it a baby.

Di disappointed and shattered she broke down in tears… this is the man who told her he loved her…..( to be continued)

*fiction.

Dear Rob’s kind:

1. When you have unprotected sex expect a pregnancy also, it doesn’t matter whether she is on contraception, whether it’s a ‘safe period’, whether you withdrew, whether it was once, a one night stand or whether you bought her morning after pill, expect a pregnancy. Don’t be surprised. None is 100%

2. “Getting rid of it” has implications on her psychological being, physical being and spiritual being. It’s potentially destructive to her life. *it means she is letting someone into her private space. Uncomfortable. *She is tempering with her physiological nature. Scary, death scary. *She might be going against what she believes in . Traumatic.FYI,No woman is comfortable in exposing self to anyone, i mean down there, it is only when they trust you with their vulnerability and give themselves to you. Everything else is very uncomfortable, even doctors & nurses we give the benefit of the doubt : either it is being examined , tools and foreign fingers inserted down there, all of it is very uncomfortable. Re a utwana? So basically You are telling her “go be vulnerable and get invaded because I am scared”. That is selfish of you.

3. A loss of pregnancy whether by choice or not, comes with grief: Grief process sets in because ladies attach the moment they find out they are pregnant. Grief is terrible- getting sad all the time, not sleeping, not eating, self blame, feeling guilty, anger etc. Some get depression as grief becomes complex. You are the initiator of pain. Shame on you.

4. Mo Botswana, you are basically telling this woman to commit a crime and suffer consequences thereof, alone. You are Conniving & self centred. Shame on you.

5. She is the one with the power to make the ultimate decision whether she keeps the pregnancy or not.Her body, her decision. Even in countries where abortion is legal, consent is sought from her. Don’t make such choices over her body. Do not make ladies feel bad for being pregnant with your offspring. Do not guilt trap my sisters and threaten the life out of them.#Checkyourself. #PeaceOut#shadowedsorrows

PART III

#Robs&Di continued……(At the hospital)Di remembered her parents. Her all time supporters. They always knew what to say. She called her mother.Di: hello mamaMa: Dumela Princess.Her mother called her ‘Princess Di’ and it usually just made her feel loved & special

Di: Ke mo spatela

Ma: ijoo! Utwa jaaka ke Kgaoga pelo. E le gore bothata ke eng ngwanaka.

Di: Just come mama. Don’t tell papa yet.She knew her father was very protective of her and would turn the world upside down for her. If she is still confused like this, people will suffer to explain her pain to him.she was done uterine evacuation during the day and the doctor was happy with her outcome. She continued to be observed.Di had a nagging thought, she couldn’t let go of the question “why?”.. she felt like she failed her baby. She retraced the happenings of the previous day over and over again but could not remember anytime that she potentially endangered her baby. “maybe I shouldn’t have cried that much,everything was falling into place, Rob had even warmed up to the idea of being a father,” Sadness enveloped her again and she wished Rob was by her side to hold her, he had given her a glimpse of how he ll pamper her and she loved it. Little did she know.(During Visiting hour)Her mother hurried into the ward, fear was written all over her face. The moment she laid eyes on her daughter, Di burst out in tears. The old woman let her own tears pour too. They cried for a moment before her mother got the courage to ask “ how are you? What’s going on ngwanaka?”“I lost my baby mama” she responded in tears.“Aw Princess, I am so sorry tlhe kgarebe yame, ga re itse mananeo a Modimo, amogela seemo ngwanaka,” She felt sorry for her child.This is a devastating experience for a woman.“ Ga ke tlhaloganye mama, nne ke siame hela maabane, mo ke bati mo,” Di continued.“I know my child se tshwarelele botlhoko, o tla segofadiwa gape” she held her hand and wiped tears off her daughter’s cheek.Ke go tletse dilo tsa gago ke tse as she handed over martenity pads.“Thank you mama, Ke a tswa kamoso, Ke bata go nna ko lwapeng malatsinyana “ she let her mother know.“Ee mma, Ke tle ke go tlhokomele ngwanaka.”Rob walked in with a bunch of flowers and a ‘get well’ balloon, he greeted Di’s mother. “Dumela mogwe wame, Ke maswabi , gomotsegang go tla siama.” She responded as she stood up. “Nne ke santse ke re ke laela Di, tla ke e go apeela rragwe.” She left.Di smiled looking at her flowers “Babe, Malomo ruri wa a nthekela these past 2 days, go rileng o ntlopela Lerato jaana?”“Ao mma, ntlogela ke rate my Queen,” he responded with a bit of shame. Sweat ran down his back. He felt bad for having her go through such a situation. “She better turn out okay, God forgive me, maybe having a child was not a bad idea” he got lost in his thoughts..“Are you alright?” Di asked“ I am fine, I am fine love. You know I love you right? I didn’t mean to have you suffer” he said looking in her eyes.“ what do you mean babe, there is nothing you could have done to prevent this, it just happened, I am sorry I failed you and nnana, maybe it’s my fault,” she said her eyes glazed with tears.They hugged for a while. Rob cried, guilt ate him inside. “E chaile bagolo” the ward security alerted visitors. Rob and Di let go of their embrace.“The doctor will discharge me in the morning, I ll call you to come and collect me.” Di said.“Bye love” he kissed her.“Bye, see you tomorrow “ she smiled back.(In the homestead). Di’s parents.

MmaD: Rragwe Di, Ke tswa go tlhola Di ko spatela

DaddyD: Wa reng?, o tlhola jang ngwanake nna ke sa itse a le mo spatela?

MmaD: Le nna o nteleditse ka bonako hela ke dule ke le mabelong ke a spatela

DaddyD: Se ntobele bolwetse jwa ngwanake, sengwe se mo iragalele le tla nkitse sentleMmaD: O senyegetswe, pelo e botlhoko mme hela wa sidilega.

Dad: Ene mosimane yole o imisitse ngwanake? sale ke emetse dikgomo ene o dira ngwana?Pelo yame ga e wele ka ene,ga ke mo tshepe, Ke bona tshameko hela mo go ene, a ska ntshenyetsa ngwana, nka mmolaa

MmaD: Nnyaya rragwe Di,a ko o tswe mo dilong tsa bana. Ba ta ipaakanya, o tla bolelelwa.

Dad: Ke raya hela, yole ke wame ngwana. A le wii!( as he lifted his index finger). Ba ka se bona. oh! Ke utwa botlhoko. He sat back on his reclining chair and closed his eyes in thought. Each seemed far in thought for a moment, they were worried.(At the hospital)That evening Di woke up to go and change her pad, but as she sat up she started having pain on her chest, she rubbed her chest thinking maybe it’s because she has been lying in bed for long. The pain didn’t go away, everytime she breathed in the pain got worse. She became breathless.“ Nnese Ke a hupela” she called for help. The nurse in duty came running, “Go rileng ne Di?”Di could get not words out, she was struggling to breathe. The nurse quickly put her on oxygen, rushed to call the doctor.“ngaka we have an emergency, Di is dyspnoeic ,day 0 post evac, please hurry!”Despite the oxygen given she was getting bluish on the lips. Nurse observed her oxygen saturation’s were dropping. Di was gasping as the Dr ran in, please bring the intubation set and call ICU. The rest of the team helped as the Dr made efforts to resuscitate Di. she was immediately wheeled to ICU….In ICU the team was ready, they swiftly attended to her and connected her to a ventilator.What could be the problem, the intensivist discussed with the Dr. “I am not sure yet, I wonder if she has cardiac problems, whether it’s PE or complications of her blood loss. We will look further in her case,she better make it, she just lost a pregnancy, we don’t want a double loss” he said with sweat on his forehead….. another day awaited the Dr, breaking bad news to her family. Di had gotten worse .The chronicles of a pregnancy loss. In 48 hrs days Di’s life became a rollercoaster of emotions and now she is fighting for her life…

---

Follow My Blog

Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.