#Ladies

My ladies, this is for you— in 2024, we fetch our energies for bigger and better things, we blossom and shine. I wiped a lot of ladies tears this year 💔😢..2024 should be different.
Here lies your power :

1. Own your problem/issue, and lead in its resolution. Don’t spend all your life blaming and finger-pointing, that’s a waste of your time sweetheart. There is very little you can do to change another person, there is so much you can do to change yourself— whoever wants to be there will rise to your level and you will conquer things in balance.
2. Work on your self development—even when you feel scared— in the midst of those tears, work on you. See that change- no matter how minute, celebrate it like it’s the biggest one.
3. Go for therapy my lady: bury the self blame & self guilt, learn emotional regulation, discard the poor self esteem and fetch your confidence.
4. Make some money sweetheart,one way or another — so long as it’s your own—hustle hard: start where you are— more opportunities will open up. Just start.
   “smangmang o ntima madi” is not going to be your reason to suffer. Fetch that purchase power. Let smangmang find you busy making money and making all efforts to self sustain.
5. Be selfish with your personal time: you can’t be waiting or stalking on people living their lives, you cannot spend your life convincing other people who you are in their lives. Sweetheart, live your life— you are worth the attention and energy too. Divert it to yourself. Don’t force to be in places where hostility is thrown towards you. Move, there is better somewhere. Step on ahead.
6. Remember to have boundaries and limitations. Learn to say ‘NO’. it doesn’t have to come with arrogance, just maintain your stand.Your ‘No’ is cemented by you knowing your values and deal breakers. Your ‘No’ is stronger with your ability to self sustain, your ‘No’ also lies with youself confidence, your “No” is stronger with knowledge. Know about self preservation too.
7. Be your own advocate, know what you want for your life and be able to stand by it. Create that Vision board and plan for every goal. You know you deserve the love & abundance that comes with this life, work towards it-believe it will happen. Any compromise has a limit, any sacrifice has a limit.
8. All in all do your best to be your best, look your best and raise those standards. A whole precious diamond like you masking their shine? that should be criminal.
9. Form those support groups and clubs— work towards common goals together — call in the experts to teach and advise. Open room to accomodate each other in your hearts. You have nurturing power and skill! That is your biggest power to bring change.

💚❤️
Much Marato
Kelly

#Ladies

mentalhealthtips

This is for my young ladies out-there because some of the trauma we deal with is along themes of this nature:
Festive is here. You are vulnerable and there are scavengers waiting to take advantage of you-sexually or otherwise. Some are awaiting to make social media ‘content’ ka wena in your intoxicated state. Some want to lure you with their luxurious displays and entrap you. So please:

—Hang out with TRUSTED friends and family. Some of your ‘so called friends’ are the ones selling you out to potential culprits, be careful.

—STOP accepting offers of alcohol from just everybody & anybody , some it’s their way of cornering you. Rather buy your own. Do not leave your drink unattended.

—Stop wanting to try this and that of everything in that list of psychoactive substances, you will be knocked out infront of ‘hyenas’ and they will devour you.

—Do not try to keep up with people who are physiologically tolerant to alcohol & other substances already, they take in large amounts ; so do KNOW WHEN TO STOP.

— SCAN your hang out spot for safety and have an EMERGENCY EXIT PLAN, be woke sweetheart. Tell someone where you are, who you are with and arrange for transport that will take you home.

— Watch your behavior around people you hardly know , do not hand yourself over to ‘monsters’ in the name of ‘fun’— they will complement you and cheer you on to set yourself loose just to ‘soften you’ and violate you later. GUARD YOURSELF

— use protection bathong, use protection ( o ipakele moghel) if you know you are going to engage in sexual escapades ko maitisong. Don’t risk lifetime regrets following short-lived pleasure.

— you are allowed to report to the police if you suspect that you were sexually assaulted in your intoxicated state— it doesn’t matter whether you remember much or not— the sooner the better.

Proffesionally, re tla lela le wena & help you navigate the negative ordeals but dealing with that trauma might turn out ‘hellish’ for you. Let’s steer away from such scenarios.

Remember #youmatter.

Lots of love 💚❤️
Kelly.

mentalhealthmatters

Live in the moment.
“You can’t reach your full potential until you learn to live your life in the present. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. It’s impossible to be happy if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment. To help yourself live in the moment, you must do two things: First, accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and, in doing so, it will create your future. Second, accept the uncertainty of the future. Worry has no place in the here and now.”

🌻☀️

#mentalhealthawareness

Do you know there are people who hurt you confidently? knowing you will ‘forgive’ them. It doesn’t take much to sway you, a little lie softens you, a big gift makes you forget you were hurt, a little attention has you overlooking any kind of inattention. You are so ‘easy to love’ they say & to you that is a compliment. “Come on we ve been through so much together” and that “so much” is actually about how many times you were rushed to hospital because they almost killed you, how you ve covered every bruise and faked smiles to keep up appearances for them.

Wrapped in a blanket of manipulation, you stand assured of false love. “S/he is a hill I will die on”you say …. And surely for some the hill eventually kills them as it crumbles.

Your existence is so hinged on this narcissistic person . Your loyalty to them & abandonment of yourself is based on wanting to fit in:
—They are ‘well known’ so you will have the community/friends respect.
—They are ‘monied’ so you will have the privilege of a luxurious life.
—They are educated so you climb the pedestal with them,
—Batho ba ta reng? (Let me put up with it)

they are the only ones who can break you and put your broken pieces loosely together.
Ke gore You have forgotten how it feels like to just be yourself without the influence of this person .

Seek therapy, you are not okay- your self confidence is gone. Kaput. It’s time to learn to stand for yourself and preserve you.

YouMatter

💚❤️

Kelly

#mentalhealthmatters

“Ke borega ka bonako” ( I get bored easily).. e le wena talking about relationships you get in.

.. You know why? ..

It may because you are not accustomed to stable relationships. Your kind of relationship is maintained by the “adrenaline rush” and “dopamine surges”…ke gore something has to always happen to put you on that high or excitement level. The issue becomes when your ‘dose’ is dependent on somebody else than yourself, if they are not of the same experience as you, your relationship will bore you. So choose your type mothowetsho, Do talk about what excites you in a relationship beyond the honeymoon phase so you don’t bore each other.

The only scary thing is you are prone to abusive relationships because you may also get addicted to the unpredictable episodes of abuse as they later come with sugar coated sorrys. That keeps you on the edge so leaving such will be the last thing on your mind. Be woke mntase. Take care.

#youmatter

Love & Light 💚❤️

Kelly.

#mentalhealthmatters

#relationships

Couples, despite a conflict in your relationship-Know that there is always a need for therapy on YOUR OWN. A conflict in a relationship is not only solved by the other person stopping what they did to trigger it. it is also solved by your ability to get past that trigger (and that is personal). There is no happily ever after if you still measure him or her by what they did to you or your marriage. You are living on the edge; Heal or let go, otherwise the suffering won’t end. Individual therapy is your take home message.

Have a good week

youmatter

💚❤️
Kelly

#WorldSuicidePreventionDay

#CreatingHopeThroughAction

As a Mental health worker I often deal with people struggling with suicidal thoughts and those who attempted suicide.
I can tell you one thing , we cannot fully comprehend the emotional turmoil, mental disturbance those people go through at that time, it is deeply ‘personally’ felt. The most assuring thing we can do is acknowledge what they are feeling and the thoughts going through their mind.
You do not have to throw in phrases like “you are weak”, “you are possessed”, “you are a coward” “you are spoilt” etc… these are just nails in the coffin, it is not ‘tough love’ neither is it therapeutic. You cannot scare nor intimidate someone who has lost the desire to live into healing, they are already beating themselves up and do carry a rigid unpleasant perception of self— seek to understand, reason amicably and not impose.
The very least we can do is just listen, let him or her defuse that tension through talk ,it does help more than we think. It creates a platform of comfort and to some extent willingness to receive help.

When you are at a distance you might think suicide is as easy as deciding on what to eat for dinner, you might think it is as much a choice as choosing what to wear for an event…
But do come closer to even just one person dealing with this, have and show empathy—- this might give you a chance to realize there is a level of psychological control lost in that time. The zeal to go on is almost dead if not totally gone.

One of the most painful things is when someone coils into silence because we downplay their emotions/situations then the next thing we lose them through suicide. It leaves us with a lot of self blame, guilt and unanswered questions.

So choose empathy—one day your word/comment, your listenership, your presence and understanding might save a life.

#youmatter

Much love

❤️💚 Kelly

a.co/d/bpKWuEU

I designed this with a special eye to just capture life’s journey differently. For one to be intimate with how life unfolds, how your footprints can be embraced and how to be you and be special even among the multitudes. It has self care sections and a guidance through change of what you find negative.

You want to embrace your life? Your uniqueness? Here is a journal for you.

LifeReminders

introspection

Learn and remind yourself everyday to value your existence.
I know there are billions of people out there, some maybe doing what you do, living how you live or their socioeconomic class way above yours but NOBODY has the same energy as you, you carry more power to rise beyond your point than from those people that you think will pick you up or hold you up.

You are the captain of your life, literally …you rise because you decide to and put effort in it, everyone else is reeled in because you show up. That’s why we call ‘everyone else’ on your side the support system, you are the center of it all.

You are not here to mirror anyone nor be a doormat for any foot, you are not here to just be a cheerleader-you are the potential champion on the track too. You are here to add your uniqueness and that’s why life is this diverse, you can add to this world’s beauty in your own recognizable way.
Do not undermine your stand nor your effort, you are special, none is you. Do not feel discouraged to try again and again, when your heart is in it, there is power in it for you to succeed. Rise.

Love always ❤️
Kelly.
Have a great weekend beloveds.