shadowedsorrows

Rob & Di

PART 17
…. the weekend following their wedding, they took a drive out together. Love in the air, you could feel it without asking.
Music in the background dedicating songs to each other and sang along..
They would look into each other’s eyes and hold hands, reach out to kiss and just dip into the calming silence filled with contentment, letting the song lyrics blend with the love in their midst and tug at their heart strings. Such love. Di kept capturing selfies of them together and select some to update her statuses: “the newlyweds- The Mothibi’s- I keep falling deeper in love with this guys y’all”. A flood of hearts followed her updates and best wishes.
She wished time would pause for a moment so that she absorbs all the love surrounding her.

Along the way, They passed a familiar filling station. It reminded her of the day they parted. She had driven away that evening and ended at this filling station. Poor Rob was left behind in tears.
Di: wait babe, that is the place I came to the evening I stormed off.
Rob: o raya leng? The day I left?
Di: yes. And I went into that restaurant and met an elderly couple that counseled me a lot. Those two were God sent babe, I was so mad but they gave me so much comfort ke sa kopa. I returned home feeling so much better.
Rob: eish! That was one of the hardest days. That day nne ka lemoga gore Di ga se wa bana, I thought you would slap me and cut me into pieces. Hehehe!
Di: Hahaha! I am not a monster but I was really mad.
Rob: you are not mogatsaka, o bona o itshwaretse nna- you are an angel.My angel.
Di: charmer. Babe, they stay around here, please can we pass by them. They will be happy to see us.
Rob: Alright, I won’t mind thanking them in helping calm the storms that surrounded us, they planted a seed of hope and forgiveness.
Di: absolutely

They parked by the entrance and Di got out to press the intercom. She chat a bit to it and the gate slid open. Rob drove in, parked and got out.
The old woman stood at the door,” Dumelang bongwanaka you are welcome,” she said ushering them into the living room.
Di: Ke tsile go dumedisa hela, le bone le rre yo wa go ntidisa nako Lee. Ke ene Rob yo.
MmaMpho: ee, Ke ene mogwe wa rona yo. Re a leboga ha le kgonne go agisana gape. Se segolo ke lorato.
Rob: Ee mma.
Di: Monnamogolo o kae?
MmaMpho: RraMpho sa le a re tlogetse ngwanaka, o ile a tshwarwa ka stroke ga pala go padile.
Di’s heart clouded with sadness, she was looking forward to see the two of them, they were inspirational to her and thought Rob would also see that in them. she could imagine how lonely MmaMpho must be feeling. The old woman stood and went by her room divider, took a funeral programme to show Di. She could recognise the shadow of sadness on her face.
Di looked at the programme and handed it over to Rob.
Rob: Motho yo o tshwana Mr Tim.
MmaMpho: Ee Ke ene RraMpho, nne ba mmitsa Mr Tim a santse a le morutabana.
Rob: she! Love, kana Mr Tim o nthutile ko primary, he was my class teacher.
Di: don’t lie babe.
Rob: Ke a go bolelela tlhemma. (He got emotional,kept quite his hand on his mouth). He once bought me school shoes because mine were so worn out I was literally scooping all the soil into them ha ke tsamaya, so every morning I would take them off ke di tlhotlhora before getting in class. One day I found him waiting by the door with a box of new shoes. I was the happiest child that day. That whole year I regained my confidence, I felt loved, I felt I had a father figure.
Di: aaaw,Babe! That’s so touching.( she rubbed his shoulder)
MmaMpho: that’s him, he loved his students. He called them his children.
Rob: wow! I can’t believe he unknowingly added love to my life again. Di o mpoleletse gore le buile le ene that day when things were difficult for us . Ke a leboga Mme. You are our God sent parents. May Mr Tim’s soul Rest In Peace.
MmaMpho: Ke a leboga ngwanaka.
Rob: We will keep on checking on you, and if you need help don’t hesitate to call us.
Di: Ee mma, you are not alone, re teng.

They chat a bit further and bid MmaMpho goodbye. She felt consoled, she felt the presence of her husband when Rob narrated good memories of him and felt assured she has support, her husband unknowingly built a support structure for her with his love for other people and reaching out to make lives better. “ Thank you Timothy,” she whispered as she put away his funeral program.

Di and Rob found comfort in knowing they can reach out to her in time of pain too, just like she did for them.

They got back home, freshened up, prepared food and sat watching tv. What a day they had.
Di: I feel sorry for MmaMpho, I can’t imagine how it feels to lose a spouse
Rob: it’s very sad, I don’t think the loneliness ends
Di: I hope it does, for her to enjoy life again.
Rob: I can’t lose you love. It’s the scariest thing to think about
Di: you almost did, remember?
Rob: I know and I was on the verge of breaking down into pieces mme kana
Di: I am glad we had a second chance at life and love
Rob: me too
Di: babe, we need addition to this house waitse
Rob: what addition babe nna ke bona e le fully furnished jaana
Di: Re tlhoka modumonyana wa ngwana mo ntlong e.
Rob: somebody is feeling broody
Di: I have no reason to wait babe
Rob: are you sure?
Di: 100%. If nne ba rekwa we would go tomorrow to buy one
Rob: Hahaha! Well,can we start that mission now? (He teased her.)
Di: Why not? (She responded teasing back)…. Mission family expansion…

*fiction
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#celebratinglove

It’s easy to fall for a narcissist, a narcissist is self absorbed, they will make themselves shine infront of you, they tell you how intelligent they are above everyone else, how they can beat everyone else at their game, their love for finer things and how you are going to shine in their presence, they tell you they have less friends because the mediocre don’t understand them… it’s about ‘them them them’… and if you are crushing on them at that moment you get excited about that self praise, you are inclined to think you are very special for them to choose you, you are unaware that they are not including much of you in their conversation. The truth is they want you for display purposes, to be a trophy and make them shine. they want you to be the slave – make their life livable, They want you for their sexual perversion, they want someone to control and manipulate, someone to validate their pompous nature, your role is to make them happy regardless of how you feel.

Be observant and attentive. Find out if s/he shows interest in knowing about you, how your life is and your life goals because in time his/her tendencies might weigh you down, life will turn around to be about them,while you shrivel and fade away at a corner. You don’t participate in decision making, you don’t dare grow, you become invisible in that relationship. If you are a kind of person who stand out against him-you become competitors other than partners because he gotta be better than you. He doesn’t tolerate a loss- so you turn into a destressing tool. There is a lot of emotional/psychological abuse in that kind of relationship.

#pick up the red flags

Much love ❤️
Kelly.

I ve been thinking a lot about you, ‘the closeted and unaccepted’ My heart breaks for you.
Having to live 2 lives in the world that we split for you.
One kind of life lived in the world formed by our hostility,forcing you to conform out of fear.
and the other life lived in the world that nature presented to you, the world that welcomes your true self.

You’d rather live to embrace circumstances that psychologically destroys you and accept what you biologically repel just to fit it.
Being forced to create a camouflage because you live with vile monsters who would eat you alive for mentioning your sexuality.

You live among people who would rather have you make women beard to hide your sexuality.
You walk down the aisle to commit to the opposite of what you want.
You establish a family so that you evade the criticism, the alienation and demeaning names while deep down you know you are crucifying the real you.
Everyday you have to remind yourself to pretend… pretend having a connection with a person you lack chemistry with- having to find peace in imagining they were Him instead of Her

You harbour trauma day after day of having to mutilate and manipulate your mind to fit in the world of hostility we created for you, trying so hard to merge in the so called ‘straight’ because ‘gay or lesbian’ is considered profanity.

You’d rather hide behind a thorny coat of homophobia yourself and utter derogatory terms to your fellow strugglers because really “no one should know you are gay” otherwise you ll be torn apart and disowned by the parents who bore you, by the church which nurtured you, by the society that groomed you, by the nation that you think you belong to….caught between a rock and a hard place you turned into a monster.

Your sexuality is made to define you in every discussion held, “ that ‘gay guy’ is this and that, they forget your name. it’s sad that the norm has become ‘raising eyebrows’ to your difference.

You are subjected to ridicule by people who are ignorant about your life, people who are very narcissistic and too antisocial to want to know what you go through. The murderers of your peace claim perfectionism. I can’t imagine how deeply abrading this is.

Whatever makes you look forward to tomorrow is surely deeper and profound—for you look forward to your soul being possibly drained, your strength being emptied, to be skinned alive and made less of a human being if ever someone finds out you are homosexual.
Surely if you had a choice you’d switch your sexuality to what is considered norm and stress free, I mean who would choose to live in such misery? even monsters long for inner peace.

I am sorry for our lack of empathy, I am sorry for the ruthlessness that has rather made you live closeted.
I am sorry for your pain, the restraints we have around you, that chained you down and made you slave to our own definition of ideal.

I am looking forward with you, to the day you lift that heavy load from your shoulders and embrace the true you
I am looking forward with you to a day you get freedom to live the true you,
I am looking forward with you, to the day you don’t have to fear for your life in the world that God created for all of us
I am looking forward with you, to the day you publicly celebrate love without accommodating invalidation from any other person.

Much love ❤️
Kelly

Most women go to the deep end to provide for their children,
She makes the kind of sacrifices that puts her near death’s door,
the sacrifices that makes her to be the shun of the society.
She puts embarrassment aside and digs with her hands to find food beneath the soil,
she puts asides social class and adorns on overalls to join the men digging trenches,
She walks along the road in the darkest of the night, a heel slicing the back of her foot, toes on fire , sacrificing her body -ugly names thrown at her but she is just thinking of her kids.
She cares less about the hullabaloos outside because when the sunsets or rises she is the one who goes back to witness the pain of her kids , hears the grumbling of their stomachs, sees the dryness of their lips and wipes the tears off their faces.
Her children’s pain cuts deep inside her belly, a truly disabling pain, It’s unbearable.
She will tell you “if anything, death will find me feeding my kids, taking them to school and making sure they are clothed and have shelter under their heads.”

Mothers, I know you are doing your best. I surely know I am doing my best.

Affirm to yourself that you are doing your best.

Tell any mother you meet “ I know you are doing your best.”

Let this reach far.

Much love ❤️
Kelly

Rob and Di

PART 16
(At the Moonlight Resort)

.. “I Rob Mothibi take you Di More to be my wedded wife, to cherish you in love and in friendship, in strength and in weakness, in success and in disappointment, to love you faithfully, today, tomorrow, and for as long as we shall live.”
He slid a ring on her finger as she smiled, that was a highlight moment for them.

The best lady passed Di a chair cushion and helped her to fix her dress as she knelt down. There was cheering and ululation in the hall as they saw Di kneel. Her white dress flared around her, a scenery the photographer loved to capture.
Rob moved a step back and loosened his tie, pleasantly suprised “love, what are doing? “ She smiled looking at him. Everything about her this day looked extra beautiful and magically captivating , her walk towards him when she entered the hall, the way she looked at him, her smile, the way she held his hand..she seemed like a woman on a mission to have him melt infront of the crowds,His heart was pounding more out of pleasure mixed with anxiety. That moment she knelt his heart swelled, she had just sprinkled his pride with glitter. She held his hands and looked up meeting his gaze.
“You have loved me in my most broken state when I had chosen to resent you. You held unto the hope of getting me back up on my feet and believed in our love. You taught me love conquers. All you have done for me humbled me, I still don’t understand how you manage to keep up with me when I change like seasons, today I kneel before you, not only as a symbol of respect but as a declaration that you are my king, I will support you, I will be there with you through all the phases of our lives. I will protect you, I will remain your friend, your cheerleader, your alarm and most of all the wife you desire me to be. I will love you faithfully till the day my soul departs.”
Her eyes glazed with tears. Rob was stunned. She stretched her hand to the best lady again who dropped a small black jewelry box on her hand. The ring bearer was there, still had the ring that supposed to be his, the match for hers.
Rob looked at his best man puzzled. Tobby pat him on the shoulder and nodded forward…
Di opened the box. There was black diamond grooved wedding band inside. He held his hand to his forehead wide-eyed. He had jokingly talked about this ring when they were searching for rings, of course he loved it and it looked great but he had counted it out completely because it was way out of his budget yet Di is presenting it to him.He shook his head “I better wake up if this is a dream.”
She took the ring out and continued, “babe I know you loved this ring and I knew it stood out for you, I ve had it engraved these words, She rotated for him to see. ‘R. love always, Di’. With this, I want you to remember that the love I have for you is beautiful & all round,I will try my best to meet your needs even when you lack.”
She slid the ring on his left finger, “ With this ring I thee wed.”
“ Wow Love! You got me! I…I don’t know what to say,” He tried keeping composure looking at the ring,in the midst of his smile he obviously held back tears,it was touching to see him fight back emotion. He helped her up as the best lady took the chair cushion. Rob pulled his bride closer but the Pastor stopped him, “ wait monna, today I am the one telling you what to do with this woman.”
The crowd laughed.
“ breathe,” he told him. Rob took a deep breath in and out as instructed. The Pastor prayed for them as they held hands. After he concluded, he looked them and said “Now, I pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride.”
The crowd cheered and ululated more for this moment .
Rob approached his lady and kissed her gently holding her cheeks.That gesture carried with it all the love they had for each other and that’s how they sealed their vows.

“I introduce to you Mr and Mrs Rob Mothibi!” The Pastor declared to the audience.
The cheer got more louder as people stood. There was clapping, ululating, singing all at once . Happiness was in the air as the newlyweds walked along the aisle to the exit with the crowd throwing flower petals at them.
They went with their entourage for the photoshoot.

There was a reception thereafter. It was a busy fun day. The proceedings after another went well. They couldn’t be more happier.

The day ended with them so fatigued. They literally threw themselves on the bed upon getting to their room. He pulled her onto his chest. “ come here wife!” He said with a wide smile. “Oh,husband. what a day,” she responded beaming with pride.
For a moment they stared at each in silence, the spark in their eyes said it all, they kissed and nothing felt more beautiful.
“Love, tell me about this ring,” he said looking at his ring swirling it around his finger.
“ I was trying to give you the taste of your own medicine babe” she laughed.
“My goodness! You knocked me out love waitse, I was never ready!” Rob responded. “ o tsere kae madi a kana?”
“Don’t underestimate me, Ke maswe! But babe,You ve done so much for me, this doesn’t even come close to show how thankful I am for you. I love you,” she said, the sincerity in her tone pulled at his heartstrings. Such love.
“I love you more , thank you for making me feel so super extra loved today, I think I know what people mean by cloud 9,” Rob said admiring is wife.
More kisses and trail of intimacy into their wedding night……

*fiction
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#celebratinglove

Rob & Di

PART 15

(Di & Rob’s house warming party)
….The yard was full of people, music all round, chats & laughs. Rob & Friends braaing meat and some enjoying their drinks.
Tobby: Congrats my guy! You ve taken strides to develop yourself.
Rob: thanks laitaka! I never thought I would see myself here.
Tobby: I see the difference in you. I remember o le fraa ka pregnancy, I didn’t understand what you were on about
Rob: that was my hardest lesson, life is beyond what we see laitaka. Nkile ka bata go swa ke stress. Depression hit me like lightning The guilt was intense. I still carry traces of it. I am grateful that I could bounce back, some people are not so lucky
Tobby: Tell me about it, Ke a itse. Remember I lost Tebby monna, I never thought she would kill herself kana
Rob: I couldn’t believe it when you told me. Smoko e ne e le eng?
Tobby: Tebby was depressed too, things never got better after she delivered our baby. Multiple admissions at that psychiatric hospital . She would refuse medications at some point, blaming herself for this and that. A sa bate go bona ngwana. I wish I knew what I could do for her. Sometimes I feel I failed her and this child never got to feel his mother’s love.Raising a child alone is not a joke, there is not a day I look at that child and not remember his mother. I ve been going for counselling though , it’s getting better.
Rob: I am sorry bro, life can be so tough. We are never certain of what happens next. I am sure you did your best for her, the hardest thing is trying to control actions of another person, there is a limitation especially when they don’t understand. I pray you find peace and happiness again.
Tobby: yeah neh. Thanks my guy. Go ta siama.

Across the yard Di is hanging out with her girls.
Beauty: re bolelele sephiri mma, how did you get Rob to do all this for you
Di: I wish I knew what I did to deserve this tlhemma. I really just think love is strange, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, the heart want what it wants-it knows no boundaries, Rob has taught me so much about humbling self, accepting your journey of life, making things better and just appreciating the other person, letting bygones be bygones. He inspires me.
Beauty: The God you pray to mma is amazing.
Di: God is amazing and the support I have, and you know what? All in good time you will experience this too. Be open minded,Life is so broad, happiness is found within, fulfillment is found in simple things. Start by acknowledging your journey and knowing there is no problem in seeking help when you feel overwhelmed , that is being in control.
Beauty: aish, true. Nna mme ke bata monna, I cant anymore. How about that friend of Rob, wa mmona yole?
Di: which one?
Beauty: The one standing next to him.
Di: oh, Tobby.
Beauty: That’s his name? He looks like a good man.
Di: That’s the guy I told you gore will be the best man, you are going to pair with him.He is a good guy, he lost his fiancée last year. Ba na le ngwana yo monnye.
Beauty: Kante o raya Tobby a lebagantswe le nna. Stars aligned. Tlhemma I can bandage that heart wena, Ke e fodisa and mother that child with all I have.
Di; Hehehehe! O raya wena? Ska bata go tsenya Tobby stress wena o balabala so!
Beauty: Ke ta utwa ka Tobby tlhemma, Let me go and mingle ebile.
She left them going where the guys were.

(That evening)

The girls had left for the resort where the bridal shower was. The were all dressed in white and floral dresses. Di was the only one in an off shoulder lacy emerald green dress and a ‘bride to be’ white satin shoulder strap. They sat at a long table with decorations to die for.
They were getting served by gentlemen dressed in with black & white tuxedos. The girls devoured on their good looks. Chit chats and laughs.

Mc: so ladies can we now equip this lady with ideas to sustain her commitment, kana Jaanong ga gona bo “get out of my sight” with every misunderstanding. What do you say to her?
Lady 1 : commitment is not about happily ever after , it is about trust & hope for stability and growth through love. Love in every phase of your lives, remember circumstances change, emotions fluctuates, desires too…so don’t go in expecting Rob to give you that fairytale life, build towards it together.
Lady 2: the special gift you can ever give your spouse is trust, it is validation of your love for him and a form of respect too. Trust that you chose the best for your heart. He will have the confidence and courage to fight along you and for you.
Lady 3: Don’t make your advises sound like criticism to him, banna ba sensitive koo- watch your approach, let it build interest for him to know more.
Lady 1: in all of this guard your heart too, commitment is not slavery to pain either- find your smile and happy, happiness nurtures love. Living with a frown is not resilience,neither is hiding behind a smile,it is psychologically damaging. Reach out for help when overwhelmed, don’t die silently you are not alone.
Di: Thank you my ladies. eish, lona le bua dio tse di very intense hela waitse. Where is the fun.hahaha!
Beauty: The fun you create for yourselves. Your shine is in that he chose you above anyone else. You are his queen,own your crown. Don’t downgrade mzala, ska diga business yame tlhemma, top customer. Keep slaying! I ll provide them clothes. Remind Rob I still sell lingerie please( she winked)
Lady 1: Yes. tiisa lelwapa mma, make intimacy fun too rather than an obligation.
Lady 2: All in all Surround him with love
Respect him, support him, cheer him on, praise him..that’s a package to keep him going.
Churchmate: Pray for your marriage . Invite God to your marriage and home.

“Well, right now I am 100% sure of one choice, Marrying Rob,” she said smiling. I hope he continues to embrace the crazy me too.
“Cheers to Rob and Di!” Beauty shouted
“Cheers!” Everyone responded lifting glasses of champagne towards each other.
They continued with the bridal shower games and handed over the gifts.

( Rob and Friends chilling at his home)
Guy 1: a woman needs to be loved , she needs security, she needs recognition and appreciation, involve her in the decision making processes. O ska mo ira ngwana yo monnye, as much as you are head of the house you are not the boss of her— let her co-drive your relationship. I ve been married for 5 years now. It’s not a walk in the park but it’s a path to serenity. Growing and learning together deepens intimacy in a relationship.
Guy 2: watch your manner of communication monna. Communicate your displeasures without criticism and threats, aim to understand before making conclusions. Don’t compare her negatively to other ladies, gape recognise her uniqueness and embrace it— thats a winning way to her heart.
Tobby: tswelela o mo spoile laitaka, they love this kind of attention. Happiness nurtures love, the love of a woman is profound and beautiful, enjoy it. I don’t know you to be violent so please maintain that demeanor.
Guy 3: Nna monna I am not for marriage, I don’t think much about it, I ll just say to you know your game in the bedroom bafana. Be romantic, women love that( shrugged his shoulders,They all laughed)
Tobby: This is kinda of weird but ladies have this super refined intuition when their man cheat, she might not point it out to you then but the day you are caught she will let you know the day you started cheating. So don’t be comfortable laitaka. Don’t make lying a habit, she may seem to give in to your crooked alibis but in the background she will detach psychologically from you, by the time you reform she is ready to leave you and not look back.
Rob: Thank you guys, I appreciate your words. I am not perfect but I am ready to learn and take up this journey. I know that problems are an integral part of a relationship. Someone once told me that true love is embracing instability in a relationship together.
Tobby: Cheers my guy, all the best ( he lifted his glass)
All: cheers.( lifting their glasses towards each other)

A Month later

*fiction
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#celebratinglove

ROB & Di

PART 14

….Di watched Rob as he disappeared into the loo and reappeared with the test stick. She looked at him, eyes focused on the stick.
Di: babe, no suspense ..
Rob: it’s supposed to be two lines right? ( acting confused)
Di: Yes. (A thin layer of worry creeped in)
Rob: uhm ( rubbed his head) ..it is… aaah, nna ga ke bone sentle love, I see one line but it seems like the other one is faded.. .
Di: let me see for myself. (She leaped up and grabbed the stick).
Rob: You are not preggies love, I was joking .What if you were?( he asked concerned)
Di: I don’t know babe,I just know I have no thoughts of pregnancy right now. It will be hectic.
Rob: Does it scare you?
Di: Not really, Ke gore hela it would flip my plans, there is a wedding to focus on.
Rob: it wouldn’t take you back to the previous experience?
Di: I do remember and I will remember but I choose to live the experience differently mothowame. I want to enjoy it.
Rob: count me in to that different experience, a part of me can’t wait. I love you.
Di: I know you do. We will have a baby when the time is right. I am actually looking forward go tlhatswa lesire wa bona. We will call her ‘Lorato Phodiso Mothibi’
Rob: tsena wena Mrs Mothibi! Jannong where do I feature in the naming of this child?
Di: Hahaha! You ll name the next one.. kana jang? You ve already given us the Mothibi name.
Rob: Hahaha! I love those names anyway. As for now we need to think about family planning, I don’t want to be seeing grumpy faces from now on.
Di: I guess, but remember the last time I was taking pills my libido fled, went out through the window, o se fraa kana! Hahaha!
Rob: Dont remind me! I felt like someone robbed me of my girlfriend.
Di: We will see if we have other options.
Rob: whatever you are comfortable with love. Your wish is my command.

The next morning felt exactly like a brand new day, Rob woke up early and was tending to the yard. Di woke up later when sunrays began to invade the room, She sat up and looked around her bedroom. It was beautiful to spend a night in their own home.
She needed house warming to go with this phase.
She took her phone and dialed Beauty

Beauty: Moghel
Di: Hello couz
Beauty: How are you? O robetse na re?
Di: No I just woke up. You know what couz, I want to throw a house warming party jaanong I remembered gore go a go nna le bridal shower gape, it will be too much celebrations. Is it possible to combine them?
Beauty: Waitse o segofetse mzala . Blessings are pouring in your life. Of course parties can be a combo. Motshegare e nna house warming, maitseboa bridal shower.
Di: alright! That actually sounds good.
Beauty: Eya, motshegare go a bo go kopanwe! Then re a itlhaola maitseboa. Heee! Kana gongwe ke ta iponela hunk gone kwa!
Di: Hehehehe! Moghel! I don’t want strippers at my party mma..
Beauty: Ae Di, add a bit of spice to your life mzala
Di: ke na le spice same mo ntlong
Beauty: Nnyaya mma ke raya exotic spice
Di: Heeeeeee! Exotic! O bua ka diteme ebile . Maybe they can be ushers hela, wa ntlhaloganya?
Beauty: Ga ke na bothata, so long as there are eye candies there
Di: Hehehehe!Loneliness ya reng mo ngwaneng.
Beauty: Ke lonely mma, I ve forgotten how it feels go bitswa “ baby” le nna, ke raya all sweet pet names in this world
Di: Go lebaka mme! You need some loving. Di cobwebs o tla direng? ( she laughed mocking her)
Beauty: ( rolled her eyes laughing) imagine couz! Ke tlhoka TLC e serious. Diemo ga ke di bate.
Di: hehehehe! Wena o mpuisa thata. Tla ke tswe mo dikobong ke baakanye ntlo and make breakfast for Rob.
Beauty: Good morning to you and have a good day mothowame.
Di: Good day my sweetheart . Mxcwaa!

She went outside to where Rob was. “ Hey babe,” she said leaning over for a peck.
“Sleepy head,” he teased her.
“ tswa mo go nna,” she laughed it off. Ke eng o phaketse jaana?”
“Boroko nne bo hedile o ntlhodia ka go kgorotha,” he responded.
“mxcm, the way o rumulanang ka teng o ta iphithela o tlhakatlhakane le mmu yo.
“O mphorophotshe hatshe kana wena love. Gladiator! Ke go tshaba mo!” He laughed.
“ You know babe! Hehehe! Ija!” She laughed.
“Any plans today?” Rob asked.
“Not really, we ll talk about the housewarming party later, Let me go tidy up and make breakfast. Ntlo e e tona le yone” Di responded.
“We can still get that lady to clean once a week and do laundry,” Rob responded.
“Ya, it used to help a lot at the apartment. she looked around, “do you think we need a garden boy?”
“No no no! Ga ke bate go senyetswa,” Rob responded instantly.
“ o senyetswa eng? Akere wa mo ruta?” Di said puzzled.
“kgantele e nna ditori tsa tv, Mr gardener a tsene mo ntlong yame,” he laughed.
“Hehehehe! Tsek! Ga o ntheee!” Di laughed too.
“O a itse desperate housewives akere mogatsaka,” he laughed too!
“Go raya gore o ta bo thaetsa loving mothowame ,” she teased him.
“See, you are already making up reasons- don’t plan my heart attack please,” he said rubbing his chest.
They continued to laugh.
“ You have no reason to worry babe. Let me go do the chores my garden boy!” Di left.
“Yes, ma’ am !” Rob responded winking at her.

He couldn’t get enough of her, she added that spark to his life.

2 months later…

*fiction
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#celebratinglove

Rob & Di

PART 13

4 months later.

…Rob and Di had been attending couple counselling after they arrived back from their vacation in capetown.

There was plenty on their plates. The families had started marital negotiations,

she had gotten busy with furnishing their new house.

They had started brainstorming about their wedding celebrations

It was an excitingly busy time of their lives ,however tiring it was.

( At Di’s apartment)

They stood in the middle of the empty house looking around. It was their last day of moving out of the apartment. Di thought ‘this was where she learnt to thrive independently , to fall in love, to deal with conflict & emotional pain and get back up.

As for Rob, he thought ‘ this where he socially grew to love a woman, this is where he got mischievous and had to learn the pain thereof, this is where he thought their love would end but he was welcomed back.’

Di: Goodbye house, thank you for sheltering is. ( she whispered)

Rob was holding her memory box while they stood there and she remembered, “There is one last thing we need to say goodbye to babe,” She said leaning her head on his shoulder .

“ What are you talking about love?” He asked turning his gaze to her.

“Give me the memory box,” she requested.

Rob passed her the memory box. She opened it and took out the pregnancy stick.

“ I mean this.I think it’s time we bury this vivid memory in peace,” Di said looking at the stick.

Rob pulled her closer with his arm over her shoulder , “you are right. I think it’s time.” He swallowed a feeling of guilt & regret.

They went outside and she burnt the pregnancy stick, they stood there watching it burn until the flames died down.

Rob: I am going to buy you a new memory box love.

Di: Hahaha! what’s wrong with this one babe?

Rob: New beginnings,New home, new memories

Di: Alright, I will take that.

They locked the apartment and left for their new home.

Rob: Today I am cooking dinner for my queen…

Di: Nnyaya rra kitchen ke yame, e bulwa semmuso ke nna..just stand back…

Rob: aaaw! Love ,You are such a party pooper . Kana I am in the perfect mood to cook. May I join you at least?

Di: so long as I don’t get disturbed, no requests for dances, no hugging me ke apeile, no touchy-feely.

Rob: No, no, no….. ke ta bo ke go thusa go shashola hela mogatsaka. Letswai hela.

Di: Hahaha!..maybe we should call the parents to come and eat with us.. re rapelele bodulo jwa rona mothowame

Rob: I love that idea. You are so sweet, did I tell you I love you.

Di: In so many ways and I hear you saying it in my sleep

Rob: Hahaha! O a bo o robetse ka leitlho le le one. Sometimes I do say it o kgorotha.

Di: mxcm babe, I don’t snore..

Rob: Tell that to someone who doesn’t share a bed with you.

They laughed and continued chatting about this and that.

They got home and freshened up. Di started preparing food. Rob called their family inviting them for dinner.

In the kitchen he found Di munching on a cupcake.

Rob: by the time we eat you will be full

Di: I felt hungry, these days tlala yame e kare motho a na le dibokwana mo maleng.. I don’t stop eating. See what happiness does, Ke sa ja monono.

Rob: I know, Phane ke ngwana mo go wena love, o ja 24/7. O ta re ke happiness kante you ve got something baking in the oven.

Di: Hahaha! In your wildest dreams Rob! I am not having my wedding with a big belly. You bake in your own oven.

Rob: I am just saying. We share the oven remember?

Di: ( she rolled her eyes) kante mme what’s the date today? Ke ta re wa tshameka. Pass me my phone.

Rob handed her the phone and she checked her Flo App: it noted Day 30 of the cycle. She panicked. Usually she gets her period between day 26 & 28. Day 30 was a bit ahead.

Di: Rob go and buy a pregnancy test

Rob: Gape gape! I thought it’s just happiness. ( he said mockingly)

Di: it’s not funny babe,there is a pharmacy open 24 hours just go. I am not negotiating.

He could see the uneasiness in her. He stopped trying to make fun of her, “okay love, I ll go. Do you think dinner with the parents today is still a good idea?”

Di: Yes, don’t worry about that.

Rob: Alright, I ll be right back.

Just when he was outside the door he peeped back in and said “I love you.”

“ I love you too, itlhaganele babe,” Di responded.

He left for the pharmacy. A tinge of worry creeped in. What if she really is pregnant? She clearly didn’t seem excited at the thought of it. Will she relive those unpleasant memories?

In the kitchen Di was more worried about having a big tummy on her wedding day. Her fairytale, All her fantasies were about her in her best body shape but then if she is pregnant what is she going to do? She googled ‘wedding gown for a pregnant bride’.. she wasn’t impressed by the pictures she saw, she abandoned the search and continued with her cooking..

The family came for dinner. They were given a tour of the house. Laughs and chats filled the house. The dinner went well although Di was anxious and preoccupied about taking the pregnancy test. They bid the family goodnight and cleaned up the kitchen.

Di: I guess it is time now. She said taking out the pregnancy test

Rob: Are you sure? we can do it tomorrow.

Di: better now love otherwise I won’t sleep..

She went into the loo. Collected urine, pipetted it on to the stick and left it there, “you will check the results and tell me babe— Ke tshaba go checka.”

Rob agreed although he felt anxious too, maybe even more than her.

They waited there holding each other not saying much.

15 minutes later, Rob stood up to go and check the results….

*fiction

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#celebratinglove

Relationships sometimes end brutally or with loss of a life because of this thing that I am going to mention here.

My friends, when you have found out that s/he has cheated, try to limit how much you want to know about it because the other tiny bit of details dug around that issue are the ones that will kill you psychologically if you don’t physically harm each other or even yourself. Those are the tiny fragments of info that will clog your peace completely.
Of course wanting to know how long the relo was,whether they slept with each other, if children resulted from such and what’s their intention going forward is fine, it can help you rate the level of relationship damage going forward and make a decision whether to stay or leave.

If you start asking how many times they slept together, how they did it, where, did she like it or did he like it, what kind of condom, how big was the bed, what was the color of the linen…..honestly you are just repeatedly stabbing your self in the chest, you are going to suffocate and collapse.

It will make you to start dissecting your own intimacy with him/her— you also start counting how many times, wondering each time when you are intimate if that’s how he had her, getting disgusted by the sight and smell of condoms because you will remember he used similar with someone else, you will hate getting in your own house and bed if they were there or stop visiting certain places even if you loved such places, even getting in your own car if they have been there… sengwe le sengwe se a shimisa, the sight of him/her repels you, ga o robale, o palelwa ke go ja. You become paranoid about everything. You become an abuser- either physically, emotionally/psychologically because you want him or her to feel your pain. You can even plot revenge.

For the married and other committed, it is worse because it is a challenge to just ‘up and leave’, you are going to have to face this situation vividly and head on with your spouse/partner : kgantele ke tsoga re omane, s/he doesn’t touch you anyhow- the questions and verbal backlash directed at him/her will make them wanna explode and disappear,for the short tempered you ignite fire and incite harm. Unfortunately sometimes you really think about killing one another or yourself because the level of resentment you carry does not allow you to have peace in seeing this person.

You know what? For your inner peace, Please do not dig endlessly, you can decide whether to leave or stay without collecting those tiny spiky details of the affair. To the one wrongful, avoid divulging every tiny detail because you are killing her or him. If anything run for couple counselling so that someone mediates your reconciliation because between the two of you it’s fire. Take care of yourselves.

Happy weekend.

Much love ❤️
Kelly
………………………………………………………..

…S/he may have broken up with you without much explanation and You see him or her hanging around with their new bae. Do not hold onto the pain of seeing them together. Don’t let the sight of them erode you.

Find peace in letting their lives move on without you and have yours move on too. Learn to acknowledge your absence in other people’s lives if your presence was a discomfort to them.

Know that life does not stop because you are hurt, it goes on and carries you into your next phase in whatever emotional state that you are in.
You are going to get that job and never enjoy it because you are busy wondering why ‘Thabo is with Sandy or Why Sandy left you for Thuto’. You are going to miss joyful moments of your motherhood or fatherhood because you are preoccupied by you ex’s life. Friends are going to disappear because there is nothing else you talk about except your ex. Every challenge you encounter will seem much bigger than it really is because you are dragging along the hurt from your past- you are going to start thinking you are cursed & nothing is going right.

Opportunists and Parasites are going to invade your life because they leverage on your hurt and neglect of your own peace, they will strip you naked, they will empty your pockets, they will drain your every ounce of energy then leave.

Don’t hold unto that pain of loss,Let it go, find peace in being absent from your ex’s life. Rebuild yourself, renew yourself, Do you. Say hello to new opportunities, open the new doors and windows to your life, let love find you happy, not soaking in the hurt of your past. You have a life to live in exclusion of negativity. New beginnings, clean slate.

Much love ❤️
Kelly

*the names are not in reference to anyone known.