Yesterday I watched a documentary series called The trials of Gabriel Fernandez, it’s a child abuse trial: an 8 year old boy who died following months of physical and emotional torture at the hands of his mother and stepfather in 2013,USA. The physical trauma that boy suffered I don’t think even an adult would have survived. Those parents were barbaric 😭
Where he stayed with his parents & siblings: He was allocated a cupboard to sleep in day & night-he would be cuffed and gagged inside there not to make noise, he had no freedom to go to the loo, forced to excrete there and made to clean it up 💔
battered with baseball bats, shot with bb guns, punched with fists,bitten, kicked & chocked, Ke gore any kind of pain that could be inflicted all over that small body was💔
broken bones-skull & rib fractures, knocked out teeth,black eye, his body literally was crushed 💔
cigarettes, candle & hot-spoon burns. His skin was discolored by bruises of different timelines. He was forced to eat cat litter, his vomitus and fecal matter 🥺.Pepper sprayed in the face & locked in— anything and everything that could break him was done to him 💔.
And still in the 2 weeks before the final blows that led to his death he wanted to be a good boy for his mom as a present for Mother’s Day.🥺🥺
You will wonder where everyone was right?
In his last months of existence the ones who pushed for him to be rescued – his teacher & a concerned security officer were taken lightly, indirectly silenced (that is not what you are hired to do kind of situation) . The relatives did not think the worst of this child’s living circumstances although they knew the mother’s violent behavior/temper tantrums and despite the child’s request to go and live with his grandmother. Well, the biological father was in prison at the time. The responsible authorities did not go beyond believing his mother’s cover up stories and the stepfather’s ‘meek’ public demeanor.💔
He was 8 years old, some would think, “well, he could talk”.. he did talk, the more he did the more he got tortured, so protective mechanism for him was silence or form a shallow story.💔. He died 💔😥
This might be a story within our borders too. Let me remind us of this:
If you are an adult know that you have earned an extra responsibility to be an advocate for any child. Be a nag to everyone if push comes to shove, you maybe the only one that makes a difference in that child’s life.
If you see a child you don’t know walking around with bruises & abrasions it’s well within your confines to ask what’s wrong and do alert authorities within your community of possible abuse.
If you are a neighbor and hear helpless screams of a child, you see a child that is separated from the rest and they show up with strange marks, limps and wounds everytime please alert the authorities even on anonymous basis. Be the alarm that raises awareness and attention for that child.
Teachers, you spend a lot of time with these children, you can step up anytime and press the panic button for them, it is your duty, don’t shy away from protecting a life. Your student comes with fresh wounds, black eye, lumps & bumps everyday to school, they arrive late everyday with dubious explanations, they increasingly seem neglected, they are withdrawn from others, their school perfomance deteriorate you are allowed to take it up beyond you. Be a nag, it does not matter.
Any proffesional can go beyond their call of duty for a child, you may never know but your efforts may save a life and change it for the better forever.
Parents, it’s your primary role to guard those children and protect them from any kind of abuse, do not subject your child to suffering for the sake of maintaining a relationship, do not condone child abuse for the sake of protecting your family’s image or social standing.
Let’s not sit & hide our suspicions of child abuse because those children will not talk, they are threatened and conditioned to conceal their suffering, some are embarrassed to talk about it, some have no idea they are being abused and have no capabilities to talk but above everything else they are defenseless.
Care for a child. Prevent child abuse. Protect our future generations. Unlike others,Let us be a nation that nurtures a child.
“Why should we wake up though love?” Rob protested pulling the duvet tighter around him, “I don’t have anything planned for the day, I hope you have none too.”
“Nna ke na le birthday hangover babe, waking up is not part of my plan, I just want to eat, shower and get back to bed,” Di replied clearly with no intention to open her eyes. “That’s my girl!” Rob pulled her over for a cuddle. Having whole day to themselves sounded just right.
Hunger had started kneading their tummies when Rob decided to move out of bed. He ordered room service. “Sleepy head, wake up, lets go shower mothowame before food comes, re je re le ‘so fresh and so clean clean’,” turning that into a melody making his funny dance. Di replied still sleepy,go raya gore wa go nthapisa, nna ke lapile Rob and I don’t want to shower I just need to soak myself in a bathtub.” “I have no problem with bathing you or soaking with you in a bathtub,” he responded and burst into a song 🎵anywhere you go baby-I go follo- anywhere you go baby- I go follo follo follo 🎵,He continued with his funny dances despite Di not really paying much attention. He sat beside her and whisked the cover off her, “bathing you ke luxury love, do you know how beautiful my Queen is tota? birthday suit or not I just savour every moment.” “Hahahaha, you are still crazy,” Di laughed sitting up on the bed.
They were done bathing just before their order arrived. They had their brunch while chatting. Rob: I have something I want to show you and hand over. I am crossing fingers you accept it babe. Nka itumela gore! I would announce it to the whole world. Di: I have had plenty suprises already bathong and I had the best one, what could beat seeing Rob on bended knee asking me to marry him?I think that was the ultimate surprise. Magical! ( she stared at her ring and smiled) Rob: I was taking the biggest chance of my life right there. Hehehe! Nne ke tshogile gore! I was ready to collapse on that floor. Di: Aaaaaaw, babe! You know what, I respect you more for taking that chance, you restored our relationship. I missed you so bad. I missed your love, your presence, everything. Rob: ke eng o ne o sa letse mme motho wame? Di: I did call. Nelly didn’t tell you about a silent caller? Rob: Hahahaha! Was that you?! Di: it was me babe. I almost collapsed hearing a woman’s voice on the other side.I just thought jooo! O ile Rob! Rob: Hahahahaha! Coward! Di: Tswa mo go nna! You were dying inside too. Rob: I was. And I am happy you accepted my proposal. By the way, about your request babe, I am 100% in. Di: Which one? Rob: The one you whispered to me when I thought you were about to refuse my proposal. Waitse kana Di, my knees were shaking Di: Hahaha! I am sorry love, ga ke a bona. Yes, I think it’s important that we do couple counselling mothowame , reinforce our healing, reinforce our relationship, understand each other more and completely love without opening old wounds. Rob; Absolutely, your maturity still amazes, people don’t know. Di smiled lovingly at him. Her soon to be husband, “New beginnings my love, new beginnings, cheers to that.” They clinked their drink glasses, it was more than just ordinary toast. It was really symbolic of their beginning.
Rob: Talking about new beginnings tomorrow babe re a tswa to show you that thing. Di: I am anxious.. or maybe you just make tomorrow today. Rob: Hahaha! Don’t push it babe, today I am not getting out of here. Ke tiisa lapa lame mma. Di laughed blushing. She did enjoy the attention. She had missed him. Di: Ke a go tswa ha ke tagilwe ke Lerato. Rob: No doubt, let me intoxicate you. I am leaving you no room to change your mind Di: As if I ll change my mind. Just being here with you is a dream I don’t wanna wake up from. He leaned across the small table and kissed her, “I love you so much.” “ I love you so so much,” Di responded back smiling. Life can be bliss for sure.
The rest of their day was beautiful. One on one attention. Catching up about this and that. Games and fun. Discussions of how they move forward from here. The future of Mr & Mrs Rob Mothibi. They retired early to bed that night. Tomorrow was another day.
They had breakfast at the dining hall he next morning and from there left in Rob’s car. Di: where are we going? Rob: Akere ke buile maabane, it’s a bit far though. Di: babe you are still on with that? Rob: I meant what I said love Di: can you at least give me a hint? Rob: nope! Di rolled her eyes and gave up.
A few minutes later. They pulled into a suburb and Rob packed by a screen wall of a place unknown to her. Di: Jaanong o nkisa ko ga mang? Rob: Just come along you ll see.
Rob pressed the remote and the gate opened. The yard landscaping was breathtaking, green everywhere except on the walkways and driveway which were paved. The walkways lined with Roses and other various colored flowers. By the yard corner there was a fountain, a rugged black stone wall fountain, it’s water pouring into a heart shaped small pond made with white stones . Red roses around it. Such a scene. At the backyard there was a gazebo, looked more like a mini getaway spot- Her mind whispered ‘me time moments’, so inviting. “Wow!” This place is beautiful babe, is this your work?” Di asked astounded. “You know me babe!” Rob bragged. “wow! ha gone you outdid yourself mogatsaka, the owner is going to definitely love it.” Rob: Do you love it? Di: how can you ask that? I love it! I am so jealous, o ka re this person copied my dream yard. Rob: Lets get inside the house Di: Ebile o na le dikey tsa ntlo? Rob: I kept my tools inside. Di: well, why not? I may benchmark
Rob unlocked the big mahogany front door. They got in as Rob pushed the pivot door. Di held her hand to her mouth in suprise, it was such a big space! The living room! She could picture how she would furnish and decorate it, they checked the kitchen, the en-suite and other two bedrooms. At the end of the tour she was speechless , for her that was top class, she had perfect house accesories in mind for each room. A kind of house she would own. Di: Wow!Ija! pelo yame e toga e wela hatshe, let’s go rra. Rob: tshwara dikey o lotlele
Di took the keys, they exited the house and she locked. Di: Tsaya. (giving Rob the keys) Rob: Those are yours Di: What do you mean? Rob: They are your keys Di: Why should they be my keys? Rob: This is what I wanted to show you. This is our house, it belongs to us Di: Rob lesa go tshameka. I don’t understand. Rob: This is Di & Rob’s new home she leaned against the door covering her face, defeated. Rob: This is where we are going to create new memories babe. it’s upon you to turn the house into whatever you want. I know you love interior design stuff, have fun. And when you are ready to move in, you tell me ke te ke rwale dibox. Di: Hehehe! Waitse I am finally lost for words, tsho-tsho! . How do you think of such things though Rob? Rob: I just know my woman, that’s all Di: I love you. I don’t know how to thank you. Rob: You are loved by me. She stretched out her arms and clung to him “you are my home for real”. He reached over and hugged her, “you are my home, I don’t see myself anywhere else”. The stood like that letting their love sink in and walked to the car holding hands. Di turned around to look at the place again. It has been such a Journey getting here she doesn’t regret fighting to heal,learning to forgive, embracing peace and choosing love.
The end.
*fiction …………………………………………………………….
RedemptionChronicles
Its the end of Rob & Di’s dark phase in life, it might not be the end of their story. Seasons of life. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it.
Much love ❤️ My page is KELLY Kelapile. My website is kellykelapile.com
….As Di and her father approached the table,Rob felt sweat on his forehead, his heart was pounding.Di’s cape seemed to glide with her every movement, it was an amazing sight for him, she looked so angelic, ‘how can a woman look this beautiful,’ he wondered. This is the bride in his mind, the one he has seen and wished to hold several times in his dreams. Her smile still made him wanna dance. There was something about her, something he was unable to explain, something that drew him to her and only her so intensely.
Di & DaddyDi arrived at the table, it seemed so much like he was walking her to the altar, He shook Rob’s hand, he realized Rob’s hand was clammy, anxiety. The old man smiled and cleared his throat at the thought of that. Nothing more at that point affirmed to him that this young man held his daughter in high regard. Surely he can’t be relaxed when she shows up like that.DaddyDi went to sit next to his wife beaming.
It had been a while since Di & Rob laid eyes unto each other, the last time they did they were blurred by tears and anger. Right that moment it felt surreal, they stood in front of each other with smiles, in silence declared their love. Rob held her hands and gently pulled her over for a hug, she didn’t resist, effortlessly she wrapped her arms around him as he enveloped her into a cozy embrace. She closed her eyes and had her head against his chest, it has been forever since she could feel this, since she could hear his heart beat.She got overwhelmed, this is where she wanted to be, where her home is. She is in the arms of the man she loved.
Rob could tell she is crying, “I love you” he whispered to her and held her tighter. Rob doesn’t understand,when she thought he was gone, he was looking to get her back in his arms,that was deep. After a while they let go of the hug and just held hands.
He could not help rubbing the tears off her cheeks with his thumb and baby kissed her, “You will look like a scary doll if you don’t stop crying babe.” She chuckled and squeezed his hand as they let go of each other. This is so Rob, throwing in jokes in the weirdest of situations. He pulled a chair for her to sit and sat right next to her.
The MC showed up on the podium, she requested an opening prayer. MmaDi prayed. Rob had hired a well known MC to host the event, Di always talked about this particular MC, she was enchanted with her. The proceedings went on well. Di’s parents gave a long speech about their daughter, their only daughter and child. They narrated her childhood stories, talking about the funniest moments and significant milestones in her life- they were undoubtedly loving parents, the room was filled with laughter and admiration for Di, it was surely a celebration of life. After the speech, dinner was served. Variety of meals enough for everyone.
For dessert, A team of waitresses came in wheeling in a beautiful personalized cake and singing a happy birthday song, everyone stood up and joined in. Di was blushing through whole song, Rob pulled her closer to his side and maintained his hand on her waist. It was all heartwarming.
The MC called her over to the podium to cut the cake. The DJ played ‘Rejection’ by Han C as she stood up, to everyone’s surprise she turned around and put on a show for Rob, dancing is her thing after all,why not put him on the spot. She lured him with her dance as he looked at her mesmerized, it was so sneaky of her to work him up like that and draw attention to him but Di enjoyed it, it got the audience cheering and the celebration mood sky rocketing . Rob laughed and clapped watching her moves, one moment he would hold his head awestruck the next touch his forehead in defeat, she disarmed him.
The song ended and everyone clapped hands for Di as she cat walked to the podium laughing and fanning herself with hands, there was palpable excitement in that room. She cut the cake as ordered and left the waitresses to serve the audience.
The MC indicated they were nearing the end of the birthday celebration and there was just one last thing to seal the day…
Rob excused himself as the MC was talking, he maintained his gaze down as he made an exit to avoid people’s stares. Di’s eyes followed him until he disappeared beyond the door. Beauty rushed to sit beside Di, “Girl, what’s going on?” Di: Wena couzy you cant ask me what is going on when you were part of this secret mission. Ga ke itse mma. You tell me what’s going on. I hope le bookile Ambulance ka gore you are all tricky le ka utswa le oxygen yame. Beauty laughed louder, “wa re oxygen, relax, you are in good hands. Nna I was invited just like you and told to shut up. Details I really don’t know about mzala.” As they continued chatting the DJ changed the genre of songs to RnB he played “All of Me” by John Legend, it grabbed Di’s attention because that was Rob’s favourite song for her. The noise in the room died down as everyone shifted their eyes to the door. Rob walked back in followed by Di’s parents, Rob’s mother and sister, each pair holding a gift, they moved towards her table, she started getting uneasy, “wa bona akere wena Beauty, they are starting with their stunts.” “Relax couz,” Beauty said brushing her shoulder. “Recieve and absorb this love and attention, it’s your day Ms lucky princess.”
Her parents handed over a gift to her. She smiled looking at them suspiciously, she then shook the box ,it was so light, she sighed and opened it, inside there was a white envelope, she pulled out a game store voucher from it , her mother leaned over and whispered “ please buy a vacuum cleaner, your house ngwanaka- let it be clean,” Di laughed loud. She stood and hugged her parents. “We love you Princess, happy birthday,” her father said as they left her table. Rob’s mother and sister followed and handed her their gift. It was lighter too like the first gift, she shook it and smiled as she started opening it. Inside there she found a vacation pamphlet , in between were air tickets and a note, ‘He really loves you, we saw it for ourselves. Please take him along and and catch up, happy birthday’. Love Nelly & Ma. She looked at them teary and hugged them. “Thank you,” she said to each of them. They left the table leaving Rob standing there.. She looked up to face him. He smiled. His hands in his pockets. “Thank you,” she whispered to him. He had done a lot for her day. “We are not done yet love” he said as he knelt on one knee infront of her. “What are you doing?” she said in shock unaware she said it so loud. He smiled, took out a small jewelry box and opened it. There was a ring, the diamond on it reflected rainbow colors unto the box lid. “Nooo Rob!” Di said as she took steps backwards covering her eyes with her hands, she turned around facing away from him crying yet again. Beauty hugged her in comfort and ushered her back to stand infront of Rob. He addressed her, “Di More, I choose to kneel infront of you because in this way I affirm my humble plea and the respect I carry for you. Allow me to be your husband, I am asking you to be my wife, please marry me.” Di continued rubbing her tears looking at him. Beauty took a tissue and pat Di’s face dry. Di smiled amidst the sniffles and said to Rob, “I will marry you on one more special condition” Rob looked at her puzzled. People around were staring holding their breath. You could see a tinge of fear of rejection in his eyes. “My lady, Your wish is my command” Rob said his voice breaking. She smiled, leaned over and whispered in his ear. He smiled back and said “consider it done babe. Now, would you please make me the happiest man and be wife?” She let out her shaky hand to him,”yes! I will marry you”. His grin could touch his ears. He slid the ring on her finger and she excitedly looked at it. The ring she has always been crazy about. Wow! Finally! It happened, The right moment,the right time, He really is his Prince Charming.The audience clapped and ululated. The engaged couple hugged and kissed.
The music added flavor to the scene “Ndikuthandile” by Vusi Nova played, the couple danced together, Di in his arms, the sparks of love between them were undeniable. She got much closer to him and muttered “Tonight you are going to explain in detail how this ring got into your hands babe.” That sounded enticing for him than a threat at all. He laughed as he led her to their parents. “It is my pleasure to present to you my fiancée, the future Mrs Mothibi,” Rob said as he showed off Di. They congratulated them and talked about how challenging it was to make this day happen. Di laughed at how everyone walked on egg shells around her in the past week. Around the room people were busy dancing the night away but it all had to end and it did end. Di felt a bit exhausted. What an evening it has been, what a day it has been, what a week it has been. All in the name of love by the man she utmostly loved. He went all out she couldn’t ask for more. “May I invite you to my luxurious room Mr Mothibi, we have a lot to talk about,” she said as she handed Rob her stilletos to carry. “With pleasure Mrs Rob Mothibi,” he said admiring his fiancée. “Say that again please,” Di giggled leading him through the hallway “Mrs Rob Mothibi!”he said it louder. “I can’t wait,” she said unlocking the room, as soon as the door opened he lifted her and spun around. Di broke into laughter, he let her back on her feet and they passionately kissed. For a long while they just hugged in silence. Di pulled off the hug, “ I need a shower, help me out of this dress.” Rob silently unbuttoned her cape and dress. She took his robe out from her bag and put it on. Rob laughed “ oh, babe you did keep it.” He stared at her suprised. “You don’t understand a lot of things mothowame,” she replied as she stepped into the shower.
He let her turn on the shower, It was his chance to serenade her. He took out his phone and connected it to the Bluetooth speaker he had requested to be placed in her room, he played the only song that he knew made her weak at the knees in their intimate moments ‘I ll make love to you’ by Boyz II Men. She smiled inside the shower. He increased the volume and prepared to join her. he peeped into the glass shower wall, “may I join you?” He asked with a grin. “Get in mothowame, you know you want to,” Di responded alluringly. She had already picked the seduction cue from the dining area, he was not going to let their night together be ordinary either. That’s her Rob, romantic was his middle name.
What a beautiful night it turned out to be for the love birds, love does win, they reunited. Di however has no idea her fiancé has more in store, they are not picking up from where they left off, they are starting afresh.
The first thing Di did on arrival at work that morning to was fill in her leave.
While in her office she recieved a call from her mother. MmaDi: Hello Princess, are you home kana ko tirong? Di: Ke theogetse mama MmmaDi: I wanted to drop some beef for you, rra go o ka mpolaya if you don’t get any. Di: I ll pass by when I knock off. MmaDi: kana mme I am not far from your apartment, nne ke tsile go dropa nama for a customer. Maybe I should pass by your work and get the keys Di: okay mama, don’t complain about the mess in my house though. MmaDi: Ke go godisitse Di, I used to clean your messy bedroom, what could surprise me now. Di: Hahaha! You can clean for the last time dimumzo MmaDi: okho! In your dreams. Di laughed, “tell me when you get here mama”
MmaDi arrived at Di’s apartment, put the beef in the freezer and looked for the ring as she was told. Rob had told her all the places he suspected Di would keep the ring if not sold it. In the Jewelry box that she kept in her dressing table drawer. In the memory box that was kept in the bedside drawer or if she had packed his belongings there should be boxes in the pantry. She searched around. MmaDi finally found the ring, it was in one of the boxes stashed in the pantry . She couldn’t resist from opening it. “Heeee! Modimo!” she sighed holding a hand to her open mouth. She hoped Di will not find out it is missing otherwise it would ruin everything they planned. She left with the ring in her purse. On her way home she returned Di’s keys.
It was a busy day for Rob too. He was here and there, doing this and that making sure the arrangement for Di’s birthday goes smoothly. The man on a mission. Lucky for him his sister is an event planner. He had strong back up and the ultimate goal was to win Di over.
The following day Di started her day by going to the beauty parlour. She was floating on cloud nine when she left that place, they gave her their best service. She let loose, she absorbed the goodness of being pampered. She felt beautiful and refreshed. It was amazing how a bit of special attention can do to the soul. She swore this will make part of her self care routine.
She went straight to the boutique thereafter, she found Beauty had laid out all the attire she thought will look exquisite on her. She paraded all the clothes, cat walking in and out of the fitting room, posing infront of the mirror and taking some selfies. Her “entourage” giving her the ‘yay and nays!’ It felt so good. Retail therapy…it hit the right spot,girl fun. Her day was great. She could not wait for thee big day.
The morning of her birthday she woke up with a smile. Her phone was flooded with messages. Among them was a text that read: ‘Moonlight Resort would like to wish you a happy birthday, we are looking forward to having you. All the best.’ Right there was a reminder of what’s coming, she couldn’t wait.
Her mother called. The parents sang a birthday song for her as they usually did. She knew that if she was home they would have woken her up with that song and their funny dances in her room. They always had a way of putting a smile on her face.
She took time to get out of bed that morning busy replying to the texts. She cleaned up and took her car to the car wash, surely she can’t show up to her birthday party in a dirty car.
That afternoon she got busy preparing herself, Beauty had come to help with her make up and finishing touches. Beauty: Ke go tswela pelo gore mma. Why can’t someone think such for me, kana nka tswa mo tv-ing couzy! Ija! Di: Hahaha! Wena kana o drama queen, re ka bona dilo.Mme ke itumetse gore mma! Nka swaba labohelo if it turns out to be a prank Beauty: Prank ya eng, nka se hakgamale kamoso o ta o nyetswe. Di: haha! Ba re nyalo, kana mme Rob o ne a rekile ring ya madimadi.ke tshaba le go e leba gape. Beauty: Wa reng? Ring? E kae? Can I see it? Di: Beauty this is my day. I am not going to make Rob the center of attention. E bile he didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I thought that will be a sign for us to talk. O mborile. I ll show you the ring ke tswa kwa, I am thinking of selling it anyway. Ke e packile kgakala with his things. I can’t risk breaking my nails ke kuka dibox. Beauty: okay okay! Ring discussion closed.Leba kwano ke go bone.
Her make up was perfect. Her hairstyle was on point. She slid in her long blush pink floral silky dress with a sweetheart neckline, it was accessorized with a golden lacy cape that flowed from her shoulders down to floor. She put on the sparkling golden strappy stilletos and it accentuated the whole attire.
Beauty: Oh My God Di! you look like a bride. I am so emotional. She fanned her face with her hands seeming teary. Di: Don’t make me cry either. Thanks to you couz. You are the best. You saved my day. Beauty: Anything for you mothowame. And I am driving you to the resort. There is no way you are driving yourself there like this.
There was a knock at the door. Di went to open. There stood a guy in a black suit,taken aback by the lady standing in front of her.
Guy: uhh-Dumela mam’. I was told to come and pick you. Di: E le gore o mang wena mothowetsho? Guy: My name is John from Moonlight Resort. Di: she! They didn’t tell me there is transport. Guy: I am sorry about that mam’ Di: It’s okay John, don’t worry about it, who would refuse a grand entrance(She shrugged her shoulders smiling) . Give me a minute. Beauty I ve got transport. Go raya gore I am sorted. Beauty: Wena Ms Miracles. Okay Lets lock up then, its time for you to leave.
As Di stepped out she saw a black limo outside. The plate number covered with a banner “it’s her birthday “. “Here we go,” she sighed. She got in excited and anxious.
On arrival at Moonlight she was welcome with a bunch of flowers and happy birthday balloons by guys waiting by the entrance. At the reception they clapped as she got in. Blushing like that she was escorted to her room, she closed the door behind her as she looked around, “wow, look at this place, this is a dream.” Her hands were sweating. The bed was huge with pure white linen, on it there was an open letter with a white single rose on top. She put her flowers and balloons on the bed, sat down and read the letter.
Letter 4
My beautiful Di
Happiest birthday to you. Rob here. Since the day I left I have felt a void I could not fill no matter what I tried. I left because I could not bear witnessing the possible end of us but there was not a single day that passed without me thinking of you. You are a part of me I can’t live without. I once again plead for mercy and forgiveness from you. I have spent sleepless nights recently trying to find ways I can add excitement to your heart and I hope you did smile with the mini surprises I sent. Let me unveil the messages from those silent roses .
The Red rose represented love, beauty and perfection. I love you deeply and undoubtedly, my heart has beaten to affirm that to me. You are beautiful and definitely are the beauty that adorns my life. You are perfect just as you are, my perfect,incomparably so. I am sorry I lost sight The Black Rose represented the mourning and the dark phase we went through and the fighting to overcome it. In its rarity it also symbolizes my utmost devotion to you. I want to be yours, heart and soul.
The White Rose here represents new beginnings and hope. The new beginning that I want to start with you and hope that with you I will spend the rest of my life.
This is the journey we have travelled and I still want to travel it with you. Please my love, free me, give me a chance to love you again. I have been waiting and I am still waiting at this moment. You will find me waiting at the dining room soon as you finish reading this letter.
Happiest birthday to you my Queen.Let’s celebrate together.
I love you, always and forever.
‘Wow! Its Rob, it has been Rob doing all this,’ it clicked in her head. Di could not believe it. She stood up and paced to the door. Her heart was beating fast, she felt hot. She wanted to cry but had to hold back her tears, she didn’t want to ruin her make up, she got overwhelmed with empathy, ‘he doesn’t know she had never stopped loving him. He does not know she has learnt not to hold on to the painful past, she worked at that and what remains is a peace filled memory. He doesn’t know she has forgiven him, for her own sake she did. He doesn’t know she has been meaning to talk to him but held back by her fear having lost him possibly. He doesn’t know she can’t wait to see him and chat the night away.’ Breathing exercises came in handy at this juncture,thank God for the psychology sessions. She stood in front of the mirror and whispered, “I can do this.” She fixed herself and walked out to the dining room. Her stiletto echoed in the hallway. She drew in attention and awe. This was not an ordinary day. At the end of the hallway her father was waiting in a tuxedo. She smiled as he smiled back, she suspected all along they knew something about this. “come here my girl, we have someone waiting,” he said, “happiest birthday my Princess, you look beautiful.” “Thank you Papa,” she said as he held her hand with pride. Dejavu. They stepped into the decorated dining area, Rob stood up as soon as he saw them. There he was, looking amazing and breathtaking, waiting for her across the room. Butterflies fluttered endlessly in her stomach. The closer she got to him the more he smiled. Dejavu…
She folded the letter back and picked the invitation card. It read:
You are invited to the celebration of life, strength and love at Moonlight Resort on 11th. We will be celebrating the birthday of our beautiful Di More. Looking forward to your presence.
“Hahahaha! Noooo!! This is unbelievable!” She held her hands on her cheeks shaking her head. She re-read the card hoping to get a clue of who it could be from or at least a contact number to call but could find none. She needed reassurance, maybe she was dreaming or somebody was playing a prank on her. She will talk to her mother tomorrow, maybe her parents know something.
She was tossing and turning in her bed that night. Excitement mixed with anxiety. She wondered how she is going to prepare for this seemingly beautiful event. From head to toe, she needed to look beautiful but she was caught off guard. She woke up in the midst of the night to look into her closet. She noticed that she hasn’t bought new clothes in a long time. She needed to do a bit of shopping for sure but her shopping partner was gone. Her mirror. He would stand there shaking and nodding his head in approval or disapproval of an outfit even when she could see he is exhausted. She concluded she will have to call her cousin who owns a boutique in town to sort her problem out.
The next day, after work she arrived at her mother’s house still in that ‘excitedly what’s happening mood’.
MmaDi: Kgarebe yame! DaddyDi: leitibolo! Di: Dumelang…She was almost laughing at the poetic welcome MmaDi: O montle ruri ngwanaka ba ba sa lemogeng ba dira ka bomo. You are beautiful my princess! DaddyDi: o tshwana le nna. My photocopy. Re bantle rona kana. They all laughed.
She told them what has been happening lately, the mini surprises. They smiled listening at and watching her filled with excitement. It was heartwarming for them to see her get out of that sad cocoon.
MmaDi: le se re time monate, I want an invitation too! Di: mathata ga ke itse motho kana batho ba ditiro tse mama. What if it’s just a prank? MmaDi: Don’t think deep about it my daughter, just go with the flow and enjoy. Ga ba a go jela madi akere? We will be worried if they were emptying your pockets. DaddyDi: If it’s a prank at least we saw you extraordinarily excited after a long time ngwanaka, you gained a smile. Otherwise re ya go reka cake ko spar ka di11 and celebrate your day. The Special day. Di: Hahaha! “Extraordinarily” o english man monnamogolo!. DaddyDi: Ke berekile makgoa ngwanaka, I was a messenger , o ka se nkgone ka skgoa! She laughed enjoying their presence. Di: Tla ke tsamae and relax. Ke lese go wara akere. it’s not all bad. DaddyDi: Do not worry yourself my angel, go with the flow.
She bid them goodbye reassured. It’s always refreshing to be around them. They had that calming magic on her. “Go with the flow indeed,” she loved that phrase.
She got home and took a long bubble bath. Letting the exhaustion of the day soak into the water. She grabbed her phone and dialed her cousin Beauty.
Di: Moghel I need a make over Beauty: Tsena wena moghel go diragalang? O bone new guy? Di: New guy ya kae nemma, Rob o tshwanetse a bo a ntoile wena, kana guy o ntse hela mo tlhogong yame, I wouldn’t even notice an eye candy staring at me. Ke mono hela. Beauty: mme ene he loved you. It wasn’t hard to notice. Ke kgathiwa ke that day a tsile go go rekela lingerie! Hahaha! Ka lemoga gore guy o mo maratong a di-levels! romantic! advanced! Di: Hahaha! Romantic guy mcuzo, Nne ke bolaile hale.Nne ke itse distrawberry le cream,hahahaha! Beauty: o mo togeletseng kante mme gone? Why did you guys break up? Di: it’s a long story mothowame, I got heartbroken, I felt betrayed. Beauty: Ao mma Di, we all make mistakes kana. O ta mmona kae Mr Perfect? Sometimes we hurt deep, beyond forgiving another I agree but second chances are there to be given, especially when you love like this. You are indirectly punishing yourself mothowame. What if he moves on? Would you handle it? Di: Maloba I called him e be go araba a lady on the other side. Ka nna semumu couzy, palpitations, sweat ke ha go le story. What if he moved on? Beauty: Heela Di! call this person again, that’s the only way you will confirm and maybe get your man back. Bonya bo ta go jesetsa mo lesweng monyana. Di: Once bitten twice shy wa se itse skgoa sa teng? I am gathering my courage couz. Soon soon.
Her cousin was the second person telling her that she needed to call Rob. What a task. They don’t understand.
There was a knock at the door.
Di: someone is knocking, I ll pass by the botique tomorrow couzy. Boroko Beauty: no problem, I can’t wait to see you. Bye.
Her neighbor stood by the door. Neighbour: Dumela Di, ga ke tsene. I brought you this. There was another package with red and white roses. Di: wena o tsaya kae golo mo Moagi? Moagi: Some guy came by in the afternoon and said you seemed unavailable, he requested that I give you this Di: hehehe! Waitse kana! Anyway Ke a leboga. Moagi: Sure. Sharpo Di: Go siame, have a goodnight.
She sat on the couch amazed and opened yet another package. “This is getting serious,” she thought as she exhaled loudly. Opened yet another letter.
Letter 3
Hey girl. Smile more and worry less. I know worry is creeping in. I promise soon your questions about this will be answered. People always say there is light at the end of every dark tunnel,what I know is that in hard circumstances you have always sought that light. Now it’s time for you to grab that light. Cheers to healing.
Please receive this card to get anything you might need to prepare for your celebration. The pin is the 1st four numbers of your birthday.
One more thing,make a stop at the Glow beauty Palour. Just tell them your name and you will be sorted out.
Much love Anonymous
Surely this was not a stranger. Was it her parents? They didn’t seem shocked when she told them about her mini surprises. Who else would take their time and spend on her like that, even trust her with money. She stared at the card. Her father recently sold some cattle, what if? She got tearful thinking this could be them.
Her birthday was within sight and evidently it was gonna be one of a kind. She thought of taking time off work in the next two days. Tomorrow she is cat walking to the boutique. Her wardrobe costs seem to be covered. The pampering covered. She feels like a Queen already. ‘Queen’ reminded her of what Rob would say to her. She smiled and pulled tighter his Robe as if embracing him. She retired to bed a happy woman.
(At Rob’s home)
He lay on his bed wondering if she really is excited by the mini- surprises, he knows well she loves surprises but this time around he couldn’t confirm it. He smiled thinking of all the times she would get jittery and excited when he surprised her. He was glad her parents agreed to work with him when he discussed this mission with them. He had admitted to his wrong and apologized. Di’s father had given him two conditions for giving him to have his blessing. First one was that he should pay 2 cows for his unseen grandchild and for the pain her daughter went through. The second condition was that he should do all in his power to make his daughter happy again. He accepted the conditions with no protest and followed through the charge. He was given the blessing. Life was about to change. Pain either builds or destroys, he chose to rise and build. He sighed pulling linen over his shoulders , closed his eyes and in thought placed Di beside him. Maybe distance does make the heart grow fonder. 5 days to her birthday. He crossed his fingers,his plan had to work…..
…Rob’s sister was surprised by the silent caller at the other end. She wanted to tell them Rob had left his phone, he usually did when he goes for meditation classes. She stared at the phone and shook her head, as she flipped it around she realised the cover is made out of Di’s photo. She smiled “My poor brother.”
She remembered their conversation
Nelly: So wa go dira jang ka Di, did you guys break up? Rob: Tota hela I needed to give her space, nna ga ke a kgaogana le Di but i was scared to hear her telling me our relationship is over. Ke a mo rata Sis but I messed up, I messed up big time. Nelly: mme hela o ne o tsenwe ke eng Rob? Rob: I was scared and impulsive. Ke akanya hela gore ngwana ke stress. I don’t have a better excuse. I regret every second of my life. Nelly: Satane o ne a go hupile ngwana wa bomma. But seriously re batho, re dira melato, we make mistakes but at the end of the day we have to learn to deal with them and move on. If you love her as you say, love will win and you will be together eventually but first deal with yourself. Rob: Yea, I was planning to propose kana that day.. hehehe! Funny how life can suddenly change. He looked very sad, she never liked seeing him that sad.
Rob had been home since the day he left Di. He needed somebody to lean on, his mother & sister were undoubtedly his all time pillars.
The 1st day he showed up home Rob had decided to confess to his mother and sister what happened between him and Di. His mother was angry and disappointed with him but she knew she had to work to help her son back up. It was so obvious he is broken.Her worst fear was losing her son to suicide just like her husband.
She accompanied Rob to a psychologist, subsequently to see the psychiatrist who put him on treatment for depression about two weeks into follow up.
With time it was evident that the treatment was working for him.He smiled more. He slept better. He felt motivated. However in all this he could not stop thinking about Di. He prayed for Di every night when he went to bed. He loved her still. Her Queen. He will try again to win over her heart. “Lord keep her for me,” he would always pray.
He concentrated on his landscaping business to keep himself busy and it seemed to be doing so well. That was therapeutic for him, he wished he could enjoy it with Di, she after all pushed him to register his company. He needed to acknowledge her, he had to find a way. It’s her birthday soon and he will make sure it is special for her somehow.
Di’s harbored a thought that maybe Rob had moved on, it nagged her so much she revisited the psychologist. He had advised her to gather courage to call again, she was getting cooked by uncertainty when she had tools to confirm. “Confront your fears,” he said,”It’s the only way.”
The Psychiatrist had emphasized on Di having consistent sessions with the psychologist, otherwise she continued to review her off medications. Healing from grief needed patience.
Time moved and progress made. Di was proud she was doing her best to recollect herself, she hoped the same for Rob. He had left undoubtedly heartbroken too.
A week before her birthday she received a package with a red rose delivered to her workplace:
“who could ever send her a gift?” She asked herself. Curiously she opened the package. There was a letter inside and a photo album. She opened the letter.
Letter 1.
Dear Di More
Hey girl. I just want to remind you of your smile, your laughter full of life, your walk that turned heads, your beauty that could not be ignored. The bubbly motivated girl that was unstoppable. The one who wore her heart on a sleeve. I know it’s your birthday soon, you deserve to celebrate yourself. I am sending Pre- birthday magic vibes your way. In my thoughts always
Much love Anonymous.
The album was of photos of her happy moments. She smiled tearfully, “Thank you anonymous I needed this.” This probably was one of her colleagues she thought. Such love and care.
The day went by. She knocked off to get to the apartment. She found another package by her doorstep. There was red and black roses on it… “ oh no, not again” she said smiling with her hand over her lips “who is this bathong?” She wondered.
She took the package and unlocked her door, she placed it on the table and rushed into the bedroom to take off her bra and stilletos. Comfort after work for her consisted of that. She then lay on her couch and opened the package found. So much particular attention to packaging and the roses, she loved it, there was an intriguing mystery to it. The attention to detail whispered ‘you are special’ and she did feel special that day.
Inside there was another letter and what seemed like an invitation card.
Letter 2
Hey girl, it’s me again. I know life has not been easy, you would narrate that better than me. I don’t blame you for dimming your light. The dark phase swallowed your uniqueness, it made you invisible.I missed you so much and I am sure you missed you too. What I know for sure is that you are a fighter. Allow me to acknowledge that. Accept my invitation.
……..People inside stood up as she paused by the door to a beautifully lit hall draped in pure white. The same color of her silky gown that intimately hugged her figure and flowed behind her, by her right was her father holding her arm with pride.
They stepped in to a song titled “Again” by Jennifer Lopez..
She couldn’t resist humming along her favorite tune…
🎵 🎵🎵
For me, I’ve struggled, all my life
To find that thing that makes it right
With you it seems I may have found
Some other kind of love
I will, love you all my life
Always be by your side
And I will give you all I have
‘Cause you gave me peace and joy
Again, again, again
I was scared to let go and trust your love..
After what I’d been through I have had enough……🎶
The song narrated a love story to the audience too. So capturing.
What a scene. The neon blue and pink lights up above spread colour unto the white drapes making the hall look heavenly and heartwarming.The glass tables were arranged parallel to each other along the aisle accentuating her presence as center of attention, the centerpiece rose gold vases with flowers added freshness , the crystal chairs matched perfectly the whole decor, adding to the bling. Everything reflected the beautiful colourful lighting in that hall , it was such a sight.
She felt like she was walking into paradise, her soon to be husband was standing at the far end of the aisle, he looked amazing, the black and white suit had the light blending in it making him seem like an angelic figure waiting for her, she could not believe that finally she will officially be his and him hers…
The closer she got , the more he smiled. That smile! The smile that has always managed to hypnotize and disarm her, today it made all the butterflies in her stomach flutter endlessly. Chemistry so obvious, sparks between them popping,Hearts pounding. Love was in the air.
As they came face to face, it was clearly emotional for them, they were tearful and smiling at the same time.
The priest officiated the handing over of the bride to the groom by her father.
The groom sighed anxiously and whispered “I love you” to his bride as he held her hands and stood infront of her.
Not far from them was a little boy held by her mother bubbling and cooing, he looked cute in a little black & white tuxedo. They looked his direction and smiled, their bundle of joy… this was the most beautiful and exciting day of Di’s life…
Her life as she planned, what more would she ask for….
“Di…Di…Di” her mother woke her up and whisked blankets away from her, she felt the chill of the cold morning. “Tsoga mma bosele,” her mother continued. “Your father is waiting ko morakeng, you agreed to be shown dikgomo mma, mojaboswa.”
She sat up. Her mood got dampened when she realised it was just a dream, Rob at the end of the aisle was just a dream.
She got out of bed and pulled over Rob’s robe getting into the bathroom, there she ran the shower as she broke down in tears crying loudly as her noise got muffled by the sound of running water, She missed him. She wondered where in the world he was. Was he still alive? That thought scared her to the core. There was not a day that passed without her thinking of Rob but she hesitated to call him. What if he doesn’t respond?
She had never been so caught between loving a human being and forgiving them. Her mother once asked her “If she could not reverse the past, why can’t she let it go too?” It had been 3 months already.
He father had said to her “heal, listen to your heart, if you want him, forgive and choose to see the best in him.” That sounded so easy but seemed hard for her.
She had stopped the psychologist sessions since he referred her to the psychiatrist, she felt it was an exaggeration that the he thought she needed a psychiatric consultation. She just thought he meant her problem is not redeemable and she is crazy. It was once in a while that she would sleep, she had begun to isolate herself from people.
“I need to go to church and be prayed for,” she thought.
She remembered she hasn’t been to church in a while. She could not even complete the Lord’s Prayer anymore: she could not bring herself up to say “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” It made her feel guilty. She couldn’t forgive yet she couldn’t let go of Rob either. Her faith faltered….
The next Saturday she woke up early to make it to church on time, she found courage in going there because her father promised to come by and pick her.
At church, the youth class was discussing about forgiveness. ‘Just what she needed. What a coincidence or was it God talking to her,’ she wondered. The facilitator opened up the floor for people to discuss their stories of forgiveness. The stories seemed to inspire her and show her that she is not the only one dealing with this problem. The facilitator ended the discussion with a prayer “Heavenly father, if you could forgive and transform Saul who persecuted your beloved children, who are we to not forgive the ones who do us wrong? Give us the capability to forgive and find peace, In Jesus’ name we pray .Amen.”
That resonated with her so much, She pondered on this and realized she also really needed that peace. The rest of the day at church was so refreshing for her, the Pastor preached from the book: 1 Corinthians 13 V 4-7. It was about Love. She felt day was packaged just for her. She needed to hear that and she enjoyed every piece of the program.
She got back to the apartment in the evening excited, feeling lighter and ready to conquer. She entered her bedroom and took her phone out of the purse, sat on top of the bed throwing off her shoes as she dialed Rob’s number after a very long time. She heaved a sigh of relief as the phone started ringing on the other side…
“Hello”.. a woman voice responded.
Di’s heart pounded, she got tongue tied as the woman continued repeating “hello”.
She eventually hang up and Di broke down in tears. Her hope crushed on the floor, she had wanted to hear his voice ….
*fiction
see you across the street..PART 8
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#RecoveryJourney
I came across this today and loved it. it describes so intimately how anxiety infringes someone’s life. A relationship deeply felt. It does not only help understand anxiety but also assures that its a common shared problem.
It is possible that in Relationships we call giving the “benefit of the doubt” forgiveness. I think it’s rare that we forgive the other for various reasons, maybe because of our personal experiences and learning from our environment or self preservation.
Think about it….
We keep a tab on the wrongs done even if we said “I forgive you”. We keep count of how many times he has cheated , how many times he lied, we monitor his behavior and look into his phone for further signs of infidelity( sometimes we call it proof of transparency but deep down its about not trusting anymore), we put restrictions on his life etc
Next time if it ever happens again that he does any wrong we ask “how many times should I do this with you, how long should I tolerate this?”
This “how many times” says you never really forgave him, there was never “lets get over this and start over on a clean slate”. It was rather “okay let’s see how it goes from here.” Benefit of the doubt.
I am gonna give a religious example;
God forgives. He doesn’t count back to us the gazillion sins we have done if we fall out, no matter how many times.Can you imagine if he ever did? It’s painful right? you had tried to change but failed, now you are shown how you even failed previously. If he did that everytime most of us would have abandoned our faith already because no one wants to be shown “their lifetime filth” everytime they are down and seek mercy. It’s naturally demotivating.
Align this to a relationship, when you say you forgive him you are saying “okay fine that is a closed chapter- locked out, the key thrown out.I am not going to bring it up again. We are starting over on a clean slate.”
Now , look at this very common thing that happens : If he’s cheats again we are going back to the dirty memory box and show him he is adding unto it, he previously cheated with Mpho, Neo, Masego & whoever else,now he brings in Divine. We don’t regard Divine as a different story or problem, it is “ you are doing it again” that is one of the first words we utter. Doubt validated.
And what happens thereafter? He starts being defensive because it’s embarrassing, it’s painful, it’s shameful to be shown how many times a failure you are, right? ….
You both get no chance to explore the root of the problem cause you are charged up. Attack & Defense.
Any problem is addressed in a verbal boxing ring.
There is no discussion of issues in that time:
# He won’t get a chance to tell you “I am not satisfied in the bedroom, I am sexually frustrated” that rather comes out to you as an insult, a feebly defense while in all essence it’s a problem overlooked.
# He won’t tell you that you don’t give him the same attention anymore you are busy with work and the kids because it will be called being ungrateful. You both overlook this issue that has bitten a chunk out of your relationship.
# he won’t tell you the spark is gone because that becomes an insult, we think of it as ‘I don’t love you anymore’. You both lose a chance to recultivate your relationship. The spark that can be re-lit is left dead.
# he won’t tell you “your demands are making him uncomfortable ” because that is called shifting the blame and being weak
Basically because there was never forgiveness therefore there is no platform for a meaningful new conversation, you have been indirectly doubting him all along, your doubt is highlighted.
Giving the benefit of the doubt alone opens us up to re-living the painful memories, and that is detrimental to one’s psychological well-being. We all have breaking points. We get tired.That’s why we end most relationships.
I believe if we did genuinely forgave each other even breakups wouldnt be as deeply devastating because we would have satisfactory conversations of why things won’t work out or didnt work out.
Forgiveness is special work. It requires open mindedness , it requires the ability to ‘forget’ or not carry forth the pain of the past into present situations . It requires you to easily access peace within yourself. Forgiveness says I will leave you in peace with my heart intact or I will stay and still see the best in you.
And this applies vice versa too guys😊
*Of course we ve got frank cut out ‘run’ kinda of situations,just run if your being is invaded.
*Mpho,Neo, Masego & Divine are not in reference to anyone known, alive or dead.
Okay. Enough of my thinking for now .
…Much love. ❤️😊.
A colourful soul I am. I paint pictures with words, I extract words from pictures. My thoughts mould stories of hope, lessons to learn and words of appreciation. I bring to you emotions on paper and serve you love in writing.
Thank you for taking time to look through my work. I appreciate your support, each one of you.You have afforded me to live a dream. I hope it grows into a source of nourishment for you too.
My FB page is Kelly Kelapile My website is https://kellykelapile.com Life Ls is the name I gave to what I bring forth in my blog because I believe that in Life : We Live each day as it comes, We Laugh, We Love, We Lament and We Learn, all of this I want to share with you, because you matter.
I am grateful. Ke a leboga. Nda boka. The thanksgiving in the name. I am Kelebogile.
Life Ls 