When loneliness creeps please remember you are not forgotten

I choose you who is trying to keep it together under this dark cloud

I know it’s not easy.
To fear for your life everyday
To worry about your family each minute
To look death in the eye and see it’s scare
but keep going back to fight it
To wonder each day if you have caught it or it eventually caught up with you

It’s not easy,
when this monster has knocked at your door and trespassed your comfort zone.
You get confused, unable to differentiate between panic and actuality
When each breath seems shallow
When each cough feels like you breathing your last
When your body feels like you are carrying the weight of the world and sinking deep under

It’s not easy
When everyday feels like a count down.. and there are news of death everywhere… a name you know… a loved one…a friend… a colleague.. family… your social circle disappearing infront of your eyes
It is not easy….

I choose you today for keeping it together,
the battle is far from over but keep on fighting…
wake up everyday and say your mantra, ‘ I can fight this and win”…
say your prayer “Lord I feel tired but give me the strength to fight on,”….
meditate if you can so that you dissociate your thoughts from the pain and heavy burden for a minute, give your mind a break.
Chat to your loved one and have them know you are here.
Whatever keeps you going…

Be your cheerleader and for others too coz you can’t fight alone.
Lets build an unbreakable wall of unity in this fight…reach out and hold hands.
I know the odds may seem to be against us but a fall while trying wipes away regrets and feelings of guilt..

hold on my dear friend, you are not alone. Victory will come.
Remember, you matter.

Love always ❤️
Kelly.

“why should I forgive myself?E le gore nna ke irile eng?”

Well, forgive yourself for the burden of negative thoughts you allow yourself to carry about you, the world and the future.

Those thoughts and feelings are processed by you and no one else. That resultant behavior is executed by you, no one does it on your behalf. It is a heavy burden.

Remember this: You have more control over how you perceive any situation-
It is often that your anger, emotional pain , fear, worry and self blame is prolonged because you don’t want to change your view or perception of a situation.

Find time to say “it is enough’,I ve got to stop this”. Make effort my friend, change is possible . Seek therapy if need be.

Love always ❤️
Kelly

For some it’s not that they haven’t found love, love found them but they continue running a marathon away from it because they have mistaken the ‘like’ they found for ‘love’ , they think the ‘lie and shadow’ that found them is the ‘absolute truth and reflection of love’ or they do not know what love is anymore, they are holding on to the hurt that came with previous ‘likers’ and ‘liers’, they are embracing the fear of falling in love and possibly wilting away.
I hope one day we embrace the love infront of us.

Happy Valentine’s Day lovers and Friends 😘😘😘❤️

Love always ❤️
Kelly.

May I crush on the women today…❤️🥰
You know what my ladies…

You are beautiful and sexy🥰, and don’t let them define your sexy…the fact that you are feminine is sexy enough…

…..love your body, no matter the size…… with its scars,the stripes, the curves and the folds… it is yours, you define your contentment with it…

Flip your hair whether they call it fake or not … it’s so yours
… wear that natural hair – short or long…, kinky.. curly..soft…tangled…hold your head up high…… you want to go bald💁🏽‍♀️?, Gal go on ahead and rock it.. they see boy in how you look? Well, that boy is in their head not your body…

…….smile, laugh, chuckle and flirt with yourself… feel sensual…you are a Wonder Woman
… the horrible names and phrases they spit out at you, it’s the trash in their minds …each letter belongs to the trash can by the walkway …let them fill it up and find nothing more to say… it’s none of your business…

….boost that confidence in you…let me tell you, it is so appealing.

Love always ❤️…
Kelly

Month of Love… tlogelang pina e “ba tla go huurda’… make it work guys. I am reinforcing connections 😅..

Here is another spice..
Utwang…There are 3 types of intimacy….

1. Emotional Intimacy
   Be free to open up about your emotions to each other, seek to understand your lover’s emotions without negatively labeling them. Bo “he is such a big baby” ,”she is so nagging “ … is taking away the important connection. Empathy comes in here too. Try.
2. Intellectual intimacy
   Understand each other’s thought processes without belittling each other’s level of conceptualisation. The magic is to be where you feel understood without cracking your head. Bo “ga o itse skgoa” le “bo it’s too hard for you to understand” that is you closing off intimacy. Mo tlhalosetse.
   The important thing is: Choose wisely. Stop drooling on the outer person only, dig deeper, find common thought flow.
3. Physical intimacy
   I won’t say much here, this is the most understood 😅. Chemistry. That touch. Your thoughts lead you, your body follows. The important thing is sync with your partner . Be where you know you are free to explore effortlessly without fighting your intuition. Dumalanang.Ga gona bo ‘Tsisa ditsame’. Ga se tsa gago. Treasure and respect each other’s bodies.

Try to balance all these, ratanang batho betsho.

Love always ❤️
Kelly.
I ll check if the spice rack has more 😅.

It’s the month of love. Ratanang batho le lese go opela “ ba tla go huurda”..😅.. you are pouring water on the magic!

Anyway, let me sprinkle some spice for you. Here are some Relo Boosters…make it work guys…

They are called the…..5As……

1. Acknowledgement:

Recognise him/her and the position they hold in your life. Make them priority. Let them feel they are number one or the King or Queen in your life. Acknowledge your beautiful choice and embrace it.

2. Attention:

Give each other attention. Let her or him feel that focus from you. A kind of focus that says “ I am putting everything else aside and attending to only you”. I am making time for you.
I am listening should mean, “I am here with you not just physically but mentally too”

3. Appreciation:

Let him/ her know that they mean a lot to you. Learn to say “thank you for all you do for me”, let them know how unique and special they are to you. Don’t feel entitled to recieve that love, look at it as a priviledge and effort.

4. Affection:

Show them love beyond words and gifts. The power of touch, hug her/him, hold their hand, add to your physical intimacy, that’s the kind of connection that nurture your souls. The one you don’t share with the world.

5. Acceptance:

Accept who s/he is, what kind of person s/he is. Know their strengths, their desires, their weaknesses and limitations and vice versa.
They are yours to nurture.

Wishing you the best love has for you. Ciao.

Love always ❤️
Kelly

I am thinking of you my friend..

You who is swimming in a sea of problems with no solution in sight. Something recently reminded me of this experience.
There are days when life problems seem to just pile up, you move around like you are a magnet to challenges and bad situations, at some point you think “o bati”, you are unlucky and cursed.
Every attempt to finding solutions is a winding road. It’s draining, you live on the brink of giving up.

What you may not know is that every attempt is a step closer to your solution regardless of the negative outcome.
That “No…”, –
That “Sorry We can’t help you”
gives you a chance to find the alternative, it’s having you think beyond your comfort zone, in that process my friend you are gaining tremendous knowledge and experience that is tailored for you—
your survival skills are sharpened and that will have you soar higher than most people, Get back up and keep going.

One step after another..keep going.
Keep doing your best even if it means one thing at a time at a snail pace. Do it.
And you know what…. cry anyway, laugh at that problem , smile and shake your head at the shock of it all, rant about it —-own your emotions and don’t underestimate the control you have over them… just don’t choose destruction, don’t choose to project that pain to others – share it without having everyone run away from you. You need to talk about.

Remember —- with our frustrations, headaches and heartaches time moves, time moves and life goes on…so keep going…in that course you are going to meet someone who will remind you that you are not stuck, s/he is there to rescue you, you will meet someone who will remind you to smile again because life is beyond just pain.

There is a particular second when your problem will be history… a minute you will be living past that challenge/problem….an hour free of burden….days being a winner and a lifetime of wisdom.

Keep going.

Love always ❤️
Kelly

This year I learnt of a somehow lonely festive season, of a holiday where you rather feast on photos of others celebrating with their families while yours is far from reach,
I know you eventually get tired of smiling at every photo that reminds you of how further away you are, that reminds you of your loss, of the broken family bonds, of the abandonment and betrayal from your supposed beloveds, of how disabled you are to fit in ordinary celebrations….I am so sorry for this curve in your life journey friend .

Happiness maybe said to come from within us of course but as social beings it’s also nurtured by your fellow beings, it’s okay to feel how you are feeling. You are not odd.
Let me tell you this— My thought is with you. Virtual hugs my friend , do feel the love too. You are not alone, I hope this brings a smile to you.

Don’t lose hope, keep finding a reason to keep smiling , if not at the vibe going on around, let it be at the lessons life brings at the moment in your pain and discomfort because they really are individualized and meant to have us rise from the ashes or from down under. It’s your time to heal. Let me remind you that you are strong, you are a fighter, you are beautiful, you are as much human as all of us but most of all uniquely special, You deserve to be happy too. You matter, you always will.

Love always ❤️
Kelly.

Intro:
Have you ever been held hostage by people you thought cared? Your family, your partner/spouse, your friends, your colleagues or bosses.Those people you get concerned about but don’t allow progress of any kind in your life.

For instance;
Families may build a wall around you so that you fail to notice what the world outside holds for you, they crush your self esteem to pieces so that you feel you can never achieve anything meaningful, they destroy your hope of a better tomorrow with their insinuations.

Your beloved spouse/partner hold you hostage— you are lured into a relationship with hope of a happily ever after, unknowingly unlocking the door to Stockholm syndrome, Giving away your freedom and Aspirations of your personal life. S/he controls you life compass in its entirety.. You navigate life as how s/he dictates or pursue.

Your bosses may hold you hostage— they benefit from your efforts and labour while withholding those recommendations and opportunities to climb up the carrier ladder. Year after year you are told to try harder, you reach a plateau where you are just stagnant but because life says you can’t sustain yourself without a source of finance you stay for the sake of survival, no growth.

But from afar your audience say all the unpalatable spews
…. “She made him treat her like that, how can she stay so long in this shady relationship”
…..” it serves him right, why did he marry her knowing she is like that”
….”ke setete, s/he feels entitled to special care”
….”o palelwa ke tiro, motho o ka bereka a sa promotiwe?”

While deep in your inner self, fear, uncertainty, bitterness and pain have built a mansion and threatening to take permanent residence.
People don’t know how many times you spend sleepless nights wondering what to do with your life. Tears soaking your pillow because you feel stuck with no way to go. Thoughts invade your being to a point where you think life is not worth living.

Nobody asks you how they can help you break free and move forth..They think you are weak, you tolerate nonsense and deliberately welcome abusive behavior.

They say “You teach people how to treat you” forgetting that from the fragile time of your existence when your psychological and social being was being put together you really were at the mercy of your carers, you were like a sponge absorbing all that’s around you and thinking that’s how life is supposed to be. You may have never gotten a chance to be taught you matter, your abilities may have never been reinforced, you may have been conditioned to tolerate unfair and unjust treatment until in the later years when you developed a sense of reasoning and understanding pain is not normal.
People forget that changing another’s behavior is beyond your control you may only change yours and that means confronting who you are or who used to be & killing those characteristics that enabled abuse and unfair treatment. It means getting out of your comfort zone and risking exposure to degradation by the ones who may never understand your situation.

The truth is, breaking free from this hostage situation means psychological and social retraining with hope that the scars you have did not cause irreversible damage.

Hostage Situation is a mini series I thought to talk about…. I ll break it down for us to understand how we become hostages… look forward to the series.

Much love ❤️
Kelly…